The Case Of The Missing File

It doesn’t happen that often, but when it does happen, it always baffles my mind. Especially since I was the last one to actually handle it. Let me start at the beginning.

It was a cold snowy Wednesday night with many people lingering around. I was in the office trying to concentrate on a file that had been plaguing my mind for weeks now. I knew there was a solution, but damned if I couldn’t find it. Others had seemed to handle this particular problem and they walked away unscathed, but not me. Thankfully, a friend who had worked on similar cases before stopped by the office to say hi. I asked her to lend a hand in trying to untie the mess that seemed to be getting worse with each keystroke. Thankfully she told me she had a few minutes to spare, took off her coat, rolled up her sleeves and prepared to struggle with the knots and kinks that had begun to mock me relentlessly. It only took a short while before she tamed the aggressiveness and showed me just how to take control of any other aggressions that might rear their ugly head to any unsuspecting person that falls prey to its intense confusion. I felt a huge relief lift from my sagging and shaking shoulders as I slowly took control of the situation. I looked at my friend with what I can only classify as enormous gratitude. She smiled, slipped her coat back on and with a cheery wave slipped out the door into the cold snowy night. I took a deep breath, cleared my throat and under my breath I baited and taunted this now tamed enemy to try and get the better of me now. It must have felt the new found power I had begun to show and with a weakness that made me smile it began to bend to my every wish. Oh what a joyful feeling I had as I conquered and took control over it. I almost cried with joy as I closed the file after having successfully completed everything that had held me back for weeks. I stood up and patted myself on the back for not caving into the hideous bowels of feeling completely stupid. I firmly slapped my hand on the folder and whispered to it, “Until next time my fiendish friend” and placed the file back into its rightful place. Or did I?

I went on with my life feeling more powerful and sure of myself, that is until I called the office the following Saturday. To my horror the file had vanished. I listened with impending doom as I was told that the file was no where to be found. My heart sank. I covered my mouth to conceal my shaky voice. Oh my God, was I too sure of myself. Was this just a clever ploy to allow myself a few moments of victory? I felt my shoulders sag again. I didn’t know what to do. I didn’t know how to handle the situation. Was this the beginning of my demise? I hung up the phone with heaviness and tried to concentrate on my day. My night was a restless one as I tried to retrace my steps of that night. I woke late knowing I had to go into the office.

I felt a strange calmness as I unlocked the office. Maybe it was just me, but I swore I heard a silent laughter as the heat clicked on and the air compressor for the elevator let out its hiss of release. I took off my coat, and inhaled deeply. I looked around, making sure I was alone and with a deep voice I called out “you will not beat me do you hear me? I will not let you win.” I sat down to get prepared for my tasks. I turned on the computer, reached for the receipt book, knowing I would be making out receipts to those that had to pay for their services rendered and accidently pulled out other things along with the receipt book. I cussed myself as I cleared the mess up and almost cried out. It was like an electric current raced through my entire body. There on the desk, papers’ spilling from the covers was the missing file. I looked at the desk file holder beside the phone and then looked across the room at the shelf file holder. I looked back at the file and gingerly picked it up. I took a deep breath as I firmly walked the file back to its rightful place. I’m still not sure how this file ended up on the desk file holder. Was I too overly confident where I could have placed this particular file in the wrong place, or could there have been another set of hands that placed the file there by mistake? I have a feeling I’ll never know what really happened, but I can now rest easy again knowing this case is officially closed!

Catching Up

Not too much has happened over the last little while. Things have been on an even keel, or as even as they can be for me. There has been a bit of tension, a bit of trouble and a bit of heartache but over all things have been good. Christmas came and went along with the beginning of a New Year. 2010 brought with it some learning experiences, some lesson in strength and dignity. I’ve had to face a few things that really hurt and still move forward. I’m hoping 2011 will be the year that opens a few doors and closes others. I have celebrated a few pity parties of my own and on my own. It’s nice to wallow in your pity with a friendly shoulder but I’ll be honest and say when I need one there is none to be found. The voices are there, but the actual caring or lack of it can be readily read in their actions. But that’s neither here nor their. I am a survivor as they say.

Well January is coming to a close and throughout the month I have been kept busy working during the evenings and weekends. The preschool programs are not going that well since times have become tough for everyone everywhere. We are only running one class on one day and that’s ok since I’m really thinking twice about this particular job. I did have a rather deep conversation with one Supervisor regarding the programs. She is on the same page as a few of us putting an end to an era of Preschool Programs. With cutbacks and lack of interest from the ones higher up it seems like this may be more of a reality as each month passes. I for one would not be to upset if this happened. I do really enjoy my supervising job. As my now semi retired Supervisor said “I have a good rapport with all the teams I deal with” and they do add a bit of spice and laughter to an otherwise dull and boring night or weekend. Remember the quote “Variety's the very spice of life that gives it all its flavour.”

Last night before going to work I stopped by my Supervisors Retirement Open House. I have to admit it was good seeing people from my earlier days. It was even good to see my old Supervisor. He certainly got dealt a shitty hand from his superiors, but with grace and dignity he stood amongst a group of us while saying a private good bye/good luck to one who worked by his side for many years before he was forced out. Because of the stress and all he went through, he has lost a major amount of weight. He did tell me he’s working on losing more but in a more healthier way. I wished him all the best because deep down even though he was a tough no nonsense supervisor; he is a really nice guy. My Supervisor worked fairly closely with a group of seniors who have their weekly meetings at the Center and there is one senior that makes me laugh. For years she was the grumpiest old lady you could ever meet and then a major illness brought her down. She ended up making a full recovery and thank heavens came back with a more friendly attitude. Now, whenever I supervise a rental where people are not familiar with me I always wear my name tag. For all who know me I have one of the easiest names to say. “Dawn” It is one syllable and only four letters long. I’m not sure why and even though I am wearing my name tag which is always visible, this senior insists on calling me Donna. Well she did this last night at the Open House and I was met with some questioning looks. All I could do was smile as she walked away and say to those looking at me “Don’t ask”. God bless you Pearl, you really are a gem!

Well this is my Saturday off and I am certainly looking forward to it. I’m not sure what I’ll do tomorrow. I just might stay in my pj’s and loaf around the house all day. I’m just not sure. I have to work all day Sunday so I guess I can spoil myself on my day off! I hope everyone has a wonderful weekend and remember…”There aren't enough days in the weekend.”

It's BEGINNING to feel a alot like Christmas

I was going to blog about my parents and how much I have been missing them both, but I have read a few blogs where friends are missing their loved ones, and well, it brings tears to my eyes. So instead of writing about how much I miss them I will dedicate this blog to both of them.

I’m slowly getting into the Christmas mode. Yep that’s right, I said slowly. I used to cuss myself for waiting so long to get things done and then having to rush to do things. In all honesty, and my friends can vouch for me on this, I do my best thinking and am able to get things done so much better when I do things on the spur of the moment. This year it’s going to be a wee different than our so called “traditional” Christmas. This year our Christmas Dinner will be held on Boxing Day. All the kids have moved on to start their own lives and over the years I have been spoiled by having Christmas with my kids all to myself. Well this year things are changing and I’m ok with it. All the kids have announced that this Christmas Day dinner will be spent with their significant other’s parents. I knew it would happen one day and I was prepared for it. So changing my schedule a bit and giving up earning overtime pay to work on Boxing day I will be setting the table for the usually feast with the kids and their other halves. It’ll be a bit different for sure but hey, life is too short to not accept changes to routines every now and then.

This weekend if all goes the way it’s supposed to. I will be shampooing my carpets to get ready for the holiday season. I have a short work day on Saturday which makes things a lot easier, since Sundays workday is a long one. The following weekend we will be setting up the Christmas tree and putting out the holiday décor. I have no doubt that Bentley will be in his glory and will be straining at the bit in order to explore the newest addition to the living room and then do the “doggy snatch and run”. I can already picture a few more of the decorations that I was able to pry from his jaws last year, being consumed while in flight from his capture.

I hope everyone had a wonderful week and I hope your weekend will be filled with fun and excitement.



Phyllis Muriel Josephine(Smith)Dawes…May 30th 1938 – November 24th 1987
William Albert Morris Dawes ….January 27th 1934 – August 9th 2009

Mindless Chatter

Well I was certainly questioned in a round about way in regards to my previous blog. It was nothing to serious but it WAS something I had to get off my chest. I am tired of following the so called way and telling people straight out how I feel, because it does no good. The ones that I am aiming my so called daggers at seem to always look for a reason why I feel as I do. They don’t acknowledge that they could be the one that hurt me, instead they turn around and say wow, you really are P.M.S’ing and then laugh it off. So I keep my mouth shut, smile my purrrrrty smile and then rant and rave through my typing up a blog. It works for me and that’s all that counts. Anyway I feel a whole lot better and even though my eyes had bolts of erratic sparks flying from them on Sunday as I ranted and raved, one of the usual hockey players said I smelled nice. I can laugh now, but the poor guy was terrified to come in and pay me…lol




Tuesday night was rather a fun night at work. Even though my P.I.C and I were not really in the Christmas spirit, we got to work setting up the Centers Christmas Tree. I tried like heck to download a Christmas music cd in time but well, I had to bring 2 cd’s that were not to the liking of a certain Partner In Crime. I can’t get pissy though because she did pick up the hint hint of bringing coffee. We gossiped, giggled and chatted as well as passed a few whispers as the Center began to fill with patrons. There was one older gentleman that grunted like the Grinch when he saw our project in action, and teased about how he didn’t like what we were doing, but in the end, he compliment my skills in decorating and winked while giving a growl about still not liking Christmas. In all honesty the night passed quickly for a change. I just wished all my late nights would go by that fast.

I hope everyone is enjoying their week so far. I know I am, since I am done making change for a while!!!!!!!

PMS or things that needed to be said....you choose

Steps up onto the podium of self indulgent rantings about anything and everything. Looks out over the calm colourful pages of my blog. Every so often I decide that I need a good self indulgent pity party and since this is my weekend to work and very long hours at that, I have to hike up those big girl panties so far that I have a wedgie! Instead of letting loose and having my tongue work over time, I have to write my rantings down. Good grief, when the mind is thinking faster than the fingers one sure does make a lot of typos. Thank goodness for spell check. Taking a deep breath I begin to feel the different letters starting to form words and the huge bust of air that spills the words from my mouth like a flooding river. Over the last little while I have had to bite my tongue to keep sarcastic comments from spewing past my lips. Oh lord how I want to just go off on a rant and not care what I say or who gets hurt. I am tired of always being the one to be over looked. I’m tired of people saying just ask and when I do nothing ever comes out of it. I’m tired of having to ask if I can tag along with others, having them say sure and then not informing me that they have gone and did the exact thing that I was hoping to be included in. Hells bells if you don’t want me to tag along just tell me up front. Don’t lead me on thinking that I will be included and then just sneak away. I’m tired of other people whining and bitching about anything and everything they can just so people will notice them.

Inhales deeply…wow, that really felt good!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Ok, now I had that bit of time to let loose, I feel like smiling again. Friday night I was able to get out and buy a few newer more modern decorations for the centers Christmas tree. On Tuesday night my P.I.C and I will be setting it up and decorating it. I am in the process of making a new Christmas music cd so that we can hopefully bring the spirit of Christmas to the center as well as into our own hearts as we go about decorating, drinking coffee (hint hint) and doing the usual gossip…that’s work gossip…geeee…do you really think we would gossip about anything else?????. I’m sure that will make Tuesday night fly by. A few days ago I spent a bit of time talking to an old friend. We reminisced about old times and even had a tear or two thinking about the past. Then last night after I got home from work and was relaxing on the couch I was talking with a friend that has been in my life a short time, but have made our own memories of things we had done recently. A while ago I made a comment to someone that I have many friends, but less than a handful of friends that I can say actually have a place deep in my heart. Those friends deep in my heart will always be there. I know that no matter what I can turn to them and they know they can turn to me when the chips have fallen. I guess since the big one is fast approaching I have begun to take a look at where I have been, and where I am going. I haven’t done anything on my bucket list recently, but come the New Year I intend to attack it full force.

The weekend hasn’t really been too bad thus far. I worked all day yesterday, and will be working all day today as well. It does make for a very long weekend having the hours drag but, but hey, that’s life. I can’t complain since I am getting the hours. Like I said in a previous blog, I won’t start bitching and complaining until the snow flies and the bitter winter is in full swing. Yesterday the center was pretty busy with the different rentals as it will be today. The weather is really dull and damp, but at least the temperature is rather mild. As of right now I am sitting in the office, looking out the window, the radio is on and Phil Collins is crooning out “In the air tonight”. I can’t help but think back to an excursion I did on my own a little over a year ago. It’s funny how one song can make a whole web of memories flood back into your mind out of the blue. I guess that’s just the mystery of ones mind. Anyway, onto a new week filled with, well, hopefully only good things!

Happy November!!!!

Well after trying like hell to find someone to cover my shift on Sunday I was finally able to. It’s nearly impossible to find anyone to give up their Sunday of relaxing so that I can tend to things in my personal life that need to be taken care of. Thank goodness the need to have someone cover my shift wasn’t an emergency situation. But low and behold a sainted angel said she would. I really do owe her big time. Since Christmas is coming and the lack of hours and money has stretched her far beyond her limit she jumped at the chance. There will certainly be something extra slipped into her Christmas card this yr.

Another Halloween came and went. Since my kids are all grown and so have the neighbourhood kids our street has become very quiet on Halloween night. We had roughly 25-30 tricker treaters this year. It was a few more than last yrs count, but still very quiet compared to our friends street who had reported over 100 kids before the 8:00pm mark. The next morning low and behold I counted 4 Christmas commercials on T.V and that was just during the morning hours.


Yesterday I had the full day and night off and it was so good. I cleaned most of the day so I could just sit back and relax during the evening hours. As it turned out that was a good thing since I stayed up till the wee hours of the morning chatting with a friend online. We hadn’t connected in a long time and it felt so good catching up on what each other had been doing over the past few months. I ended up spending most of today dozing on the couch since I am not used to staying up as late as I did. Now, here I am at work as per my usual Tuesday night shift. It’s one of the longer nights I am here since the last team finishes up at 10pm. By the time the center empties, I lock up and go home it’s usually well past 10:30. I’ll take the dogs out, change into my jammies and sit back with a glass of wine unwinding before I go to bed. I can’t believe how quiet the house is when the other half is working nights and there is no snoring rattling the doors and windows. Even the dogs seem to be resting more comfortably for a change!



This is the last week that our Supervisor will not be sitting behind the office desk when we arrive in the mornings. She comes back next Tuesday from her vacation. Oh joy! I am certainly going to milk every last bit of “unsupervised” time and enjoy it to the fullest.

Nothing exciting

Warm flesh is being pressed out first by a firm hand and then a remote is pushed and a wall of classy modern looking steel pushes down on the said warm flesh. After being given directions the other side is done. Another set of instructions are given and as the walls of this machine tilt and move closer I am forced to snuggle up to the body of this machine. After what seems like an eternity but in fact was only 13 seconds on each side, I was told to sit. Although the person was friendly and very caring I still wanted to get back into my top and escape into the mild night air of an October evening. Yes my dear bloggers I had the wonderful experience of a mammogram. Although it isn’t all that painful I am glad that I don’t have to feel the discomfort of it for another 2yrs.

After spending a nice lazy relaxing day at home I was able to drag my arse into work. There were a few items that were left on the desk by one of the main office staff and since our Supervisor is away on vacation I tended to those items first thing. The first ball hockey group is now on the floor and the center is quiet. Wow, that’s usually not a thing I am able to claim here at the centre. I think I am just going to bask in the glory of a very mild night at work!