The Case Of The Missing File

It doesn’t happen that often, but when it does happen, it always baffles my mind. Especially since I was the last one to actually handle it. Let me start at the beginning.

It was a cold snowy Wednesday night with many people lingering around. I was in the office trying to concentrate on a file that had been plaguing my mind for weeks now. I knew there was a solution, but damned if I couldn’t find it. Others had seemed to handle this particular problem and they walked away unscathed, but not me. Thankfully, a friend who had worked on similar cases before stopped by the office to say hi. I asked her to lend a hand in trying to untie the mess that seemed to be getting worse with each keystroke. Thankfully she told me she had a few minutes to spare, took off her coat, rolled up her sleeves and prepared to struggle with the knots and kinks that had begun to mock me relentlessly. It only took a short while before she tamed the aggressiveness and showed me just how to take control of any other aggressions that might rear their ugly head to any unsuspecting person that falls prey to its intense confusion. I felt a huge relief lift from my sagging and shaking shoulders as I slowly took control of the situation. I looked at my friend with what I can only classify as enormous gratitude. She smiled, slipped her coat back on and with a cheery wave slipped out the door into the cold snowy night. I took a deep breath, cleared my throat and under my breath I baited and taunted this now tamed enemy to try and get the better of me now. It must have felt the new found power I had begun to show and with a weakness that made me smile it began to bend to my every wish. Oh what a joyful feeling I had as I conquered and took control over it. I almost cried with joy as I closed the file after having successfully completed everything that had held me back for weeks. I stood up and patted myself on the back for not caving into the hideous bowels of feeling completely stupid. I firmly slapped my hand on the folder and whispered to it, “Until next time my fiendish friend” and placed the file back into its rightful place. Or did I?

I went on with my life feeling more powerful and sure of myself, that is until I called the office the following Saturday. To my horror the file had vanished. I listened with impending doom as I was told that the file was no where to be found. My heart sank. I covered my mouth to conceal my shaky voice. Oh my God, was I too sure of myself. Was this just a clever ploy to allow myself a few moments of victory? I felt my shoulders sag again. I didn’t know what to do. I didn’t know how to handle the situation. Was this the beginning of my demise? I hung up the phone with heaviness and tried to concentrate on my day. My night was a restless one as I tried to retrace my steps of that night. I woke late knowing I had to go into the office.

I felt a strange calmness as I unlocked the office. Maybe it was just me, but I swore I heard a silent laughter as the heat clicked on and the air compressor for the elevator let out its hiss of release. I took off my coat, and inhaled deeply. I looked around, making sure I was alone and with a deep voice I called out “you will not beat me do you hear me? I will not let you win.” I sat down to get prepared for my tasks. I turned on the computer, reached for the receipt book, knowing I would be making out receipts to those that had to pay for their services rendered and accidently pulled out other things along with the receipt book. I cussed myself as I cleared the mess up and almost cried out. It was like an electric current raced through my entire body. There on the desk, papers’ spilling from the covers was the missing file. I looked at the desk file holder beside the phone and then looked across the room at the shelf file holder. I looked back at the file and gingerly picked it up. I took a deep breath as I firmly walked the file back to its rightful place. I’m still not sure how this file ended up on the desk file holder. Was I too overly confident where I could have placed this particular file in the wrong place, or could there have been another set of hands that placed the file there by mistake? I have a feeling I’ll never know what really happened, but I can now rest easy again knowing this case is officially closed!

Catching Up

Not too much has happened over the last little while. Things have been on an even keel, or as even as they can be for me. There has been a bit of tension, a bit of trouble and a bit of heartache but over all things have been good. Christmas came and went along with the beginning of a New Year. 2010 brought with it some learning experiences, some lesson in strength and dignity. I’ve had to face a few things that really hurt and still move forward. I’m hoping 2011 will be the year that opens a few doors and closes others. I have celebrated a few pity parties of my own and on my own. It’s nice to wallow in your pity with a friendly shoulder but I’ll be honest and say when I need one there is none to be found. The voices are there, but the actual caring or lack of it can be readily read in their actions. But that’s neither here nor their. I am a survivor as they say.

Well January is coming to a close and throughout the month I have been kept busy working during the evenings and weekends. The preschool programs are not going that well since times have become tough for everyone everywhere. We are only running one class on one day and that’s ok since I’m really thinking twice about this particular job. I did have a rather deep conversation with one Supervisor regarding the programs. She is on the same page as a few of us putting an end to an era of Preschool Programs. With cutbacks and lack of interest from the ones higher up it seems like this may be more of a reality as each month passes. I for one would not be to upset if this happened. I do really enjoy my supervising job. As my now semi retired Supervisor said “I have a good rapport with all the teams I deal with” and they do add a bit of spice and laughter to an otherwise dull and boring night or weekend. Remember the quote “Variety's the very spice of life that gives it all its flavour.”

Last night before going to work I stopped by my Supervisors Retirement Open House. I have to admit it was good seeing people from my earlier days. It was even good to see my old Supervisor. He certainly got dealt a shitty hand from his superiors, but with grace and dignity he stood amongst a group of us while saying a private good bye/good luck to one who worked by his side for many years before he was forced out. Because of the stress and all he went through, he has lost a major amount of weight. He did tell me he’s working on losing more but in a more healthier way. I wished him all the best because deep down even though he was a tough no nonsense supervisor; he is a really nice guy. My Supervisor worked fairly closely with a group of seniors who have their weekly meetings at the Center and there is one senior that makes me laugh. For years she was the grumpiest old lady you could ever meet and then a major illness brought her down. She ended up making a full recovery and thank heavens came back with a more friendly attitude. Now, whenever I supervise a rental where people are not familiar with me I always wear my name tag. For all who know me I have one of the easiest names to say. “Dawn” It is one syllable and only four letters long. I’m not sure why and even though I am wearing my name tag which is always visible, this senior insists on calling me Donna. Well she did this last night at the Open House and I was met with some questioning looks. All I could do was smile as she walked away and say to those looking at me “Don’t ask”. God bless you Pearl, you really are a gem!

Well this is my Saturday off and I am certainly looking forward to it. I’m not sure what I’ll do tomorrow. I just might stay in my pj’s and loaf around the house all day. I’m just not sure. I have to work all day Sunday so I guess I can spoil myself on my day off! I hope everyone has a wonderful weekend and remember…”There aren't enough days in the weekend.”