Wednesday, March 30, 2011

Time Keeps On Slipping……….Into The Future

Wow, where do I begin. Well lately I have felt such a huge sense of relief lifted off of me and I have only myself to thank. It took a long time but I finally faced some things that I thought was there but when push came to shove those things were never really there to begin with if that makes any sense? Anyway I am now back into top form and even had a few very unexpected compliments, which by the way makes one feel even better.

I have begun to make plans for things I need and want to do this summer. The top of the list is a trip north. Over the last year or so I have reconnected with a good friend and have spent many hours over the internet chatting, laughing and talking about old times as well as opening up and shedding a few tears along the way. Yes we have certainly had our trials and tribulations and a few wrenches were thrown into the mix causing the friendship to stall and at times even come to a complete halt. Gossip and lies were the main culprits but we managed to work things out, talk about things that were said via gossip and lies as well as the feelings we each had during the past few years. We both admitted being hurt but have moved passed all the lies, betrayals and gossip. I do believe that if a friendship is real it can survive even the rockiest roads down the path of life. Anyway, I really am looking forward to taking the bus north, spending a week with my good friend sitting in the calm of leisure with nothing and no one to worry about but myself.

Work seems to be on an even keel lately and that’s a good thing. I did have to have a very silent chuckle the other day when I had to go for a small training session at the centre. The training went fine and everyone understood what was taught. Although I’m sure (and I’ll only speak for myself in this case) that even though I understood everything, when it comes to actually applying the knowledge that I was taught to a task I’ll not remember a damn thing. The chuckle came after when we were all still in the office and we were chatting with the Supervisor. There is an alcohol rental coming up in the near future and one staff member started to kind of take over by stating point blank who would be working and who would have a chance to work during the next event. I never said a word since I backed away from supervising alcohol events period. Well to make a long story short, one staff member had spoken up saying in a very polite and dignified way that she would appreciate the hours. The “self appointed” staff member told her that no it would be her way and that she would work the next event. I was watching the Supervisors face carefully and noticed an eyebrow rise as this statement. I had to turn away to hide a smile as the Supervisor looked at this “self appointed” staff member and told her point blank that no, she wanted the staff member that needed the hours to work. It really was quite humorous watching this person very quickly back peddle and immediately agree with the Supervisor. Now THAT my dear readers was a classic case of “brown nosing” of the highest degree.

Begin challenging your own assumptions. Your assumptions are your windows on the world. Scrub them off every once in awhile, or the light won't come in.
~ Alan Alda.

Tuesday, March 29, 2011

Saying Good-bye will never be an easy thing to do

"Until one has loved an animal, a part of one's soul remains unawakened. "

Rest in peace Abby girl.

Saturday, March 26, 2011

psst...did you know................

I had a very nice chat with someone and boy did I have a few laughs. Some of the conversation was based on personal things such as, work and family but there was a bit of conversation that in a round about way was directed towards gossip of others and who to trust and not trust. Now I am not going to be hypocritical at this point in my life so I will be honest and say that I myself have partaken in the gossip mill on more than one occasion. I had a good chuckle when I heard some of the gossip that had been said about me and the other person busted out laughing when I told them the gossip I had been given about them. It was too funny as the quips of gossip that we compared were identical only about each other. It really makes me wonder how old the gossip mongers are in their mentality since it was more like teenage gossip then the adult kind. I can actually see where certain things in my life were not based on being able to trust someone or something but I have come a long way in a short amount of time and I can now proudly sing “I’m a big girl now!”

Sunday, March 20, 2011

I feel good!!!

Yesterday was one of my Saturdays to work and it sure was busy. It was quiet, but busy for sure. With one child’s birthday party in the gym and another child’s birthday party upstairs, I was kept on my toes. The parents of both parties were very nice and cleaned up their festivities leaving things as though nothing had taken place. I was taken by surprise when one of the guests from the upstairs party popped in to say hello. It turns out she had attended the girls program that used to run at the centre. Now this is going way back when my oldest ran that particular program. It sure does feel good when the kids that came to the centre more than 13 yrs ago can remember who you are. There was only one snag as my day started. I arrived to find a message blinking on the phone. It turns out that the IT Service noticed the Network alarm was blinking for the centres location. I was asked to check the connection and to let them know if the network was in fact down, and it was. When I returned their call they told me they would be down shortly. Well I got to work at 12:15, called them back at 12:25 and at 3:30 they finally arrived. It seems there might have been a power outage over night and the modem needed to be reset. Well at least I learned how to reset this particular modem and if it happens again I will know what to do.

If the full moon looked unusually large last night, it was not your imagination. It was the biggest and brightest full moon to be seen in 15 years. The unusual happening of last night was that the perigee (the point in the orbit of the moon when it comes nearest to earth) also coincided with a full moon, which made it appear 14 per cent bigger and some 30 per cent brighter than most full moons this year. The next closest encounter with a full moon this large will not be until November 14, 2016. I was actually surprised my cheap camera was able to half ass catch last lights moon in all its glory.

Super Moon of 2011

Today has started out on a good note. It’s the first day of spring. A coffee arrived as usual along with a friendly good morning and smile and I am in a fantastic mood. It’s amazing how your body reacts when your mind finally comes to terms with certain things.
I hope everyone has an amazing and good week ahead!

Happy Spring Time Everyone!!!

Thursday, March 17, 2011

So life DOES go on

Through humour, you can soften some of the worst blows that life delivers. And once you find laughter, no matter how painful your situation might be, you can survive it.
(Bill Cosby)

I came across this quote as I was checking out a blog that I sometimes follow. It really struck home for me since I tend to hide my pain in humour through my writings. Recently I have had to deal with a few blows from life and it was up to me how to handle it. I have let go of a few things that meant a lot to me in order to cope with certain situations. I usually end up talking things over with others that I know but this time I chose to stand on my own and handle the situation in the way it best suits me. It was something that was never real when I look back at certain things. Yes it’s my perception, but isn’t that what life is about? Living life through ones own eyes and not through the eyes of another? It took a few gallons of tears, but now I can smile and laugh about the situation and how it came about. Am I better for having this person enter my life? Yes, I know I am. Can I be friendly (without the snippets of anger showing) when I have contact? I can honestly say yes. Time does heal old wounds and add in a bit of humour and laughter I can handle it without the hurt showing.

So life DOES go on……………………

Gravity dictates that what is heavy in weight when lifted is even heavier in weight when it falls. Just ask my big toe. A big toe may not participate in as many activities as other parts of ones body, and in fact it maybe one of the laziest parts on ones body, but for me, the big toe seems to take all the punishment of my actions. Yes, I did it once again. I broke my toe. Usually it’s my baby toe and usually it’s due to my clumsiness by whacking my toe on a chair leg or table leg that’s when I begin to spew words that would put a sailor to shame. I can’t help but think that had I not had to take the damn thing down to the basement myself I would not have had to find out the painful laws of gravity. Now I am of an age where I have heard almost all imaginative and descriptive words that has graced the English language as well as most slang words. Well holy bejesus; some of the words that spewed passed my lips as the heavy 30lbs of weight crashed down on my big toe would make even the most vocal of English slang users cringe. To say it hurt was putting it mildly. I love the saying “I am woman-hear me roar” and well, I put a whole new spin on that quote! I managed to hobble back up the stairs with cuss words echoing through the house. Even Bentley decided to keep away and found a small hiding spot as I cursed the male species and their lack of use on earth.
Anyway, my toe is broke and has turned the wonderful colour of green, blue, red and purple. I’m reduced to wearing those god awful duck shoes with thick warm socks to work. Oh what a fashion statement I am making!

So life DOES go on……………………………….

Sunday, March 13, 2011

What a wonderful feeling to know that I was NOT mistaken!!!!

Well its daylight saving time once again. Time to spring ahead. I’m thinking, or hoping that this new season brings better and brighter things my way.. I have stood up for what I feel is right for me. I have said my piece without harsh vindictive words and I feel good. I have cleaned out the proverbial closet, and I feel a huge weight has been lifted.

I got to work this morning and in all honesty my heart sank when I read there had been a major goof up on a rental that happened yesterday. I actually began to shake as I read the log book.It seemed maybe in my own mind, but it DID seem like a finger had been pointed in my direction. Now I know I have done a few errors lately but I knew I couldn’t have done what was written in both log book and communication book. So taking a deep breath I retrieved the contract and sure enough I was correct and didn’t make a mistake in writing the correct time for the rental. I was so relieved I had the proof it wasn’t my error so I could continue on with my day on a happy note. I was able to write in both the log book and communication book that I was NOT mistaken. I stapled the 2 contracts to the log book page just to show there was no error on my part. Oh what a happy feeling I had!!!!

As I've Matured...

I've learned that whatever hits the fan will not be evenly distributed.

I've learned that you shouldn't compare yourself to others - they are more screwed up than you think.

I've learned that depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.

I've learned to not sweat the petty things, and not pet the sweaty things.

I've learned that I don't suffer from insanity, I enjoy it.

I've learned that there is a fine line between genius and insanity.

I've learned that the people you care most about in life are taken from you too soon and all the less important ones just never go away. And the real pains in the ass are permanent.

Saturday, March 12, 2011

Thursday, March 10, 2011

Bit's and Pieces- Odd's and Ends

Finally I got off my arse and got back into the swing of things. I did 45 minutes of Zumba last night and wow it feel good. The class is actually 1 hour long, but since I have to clock in 15 minutes before my first rental arrives, I have to leave the class 15 minutes early. It’s been a few weeks since I actually participated in the class and I never realized how much I missed it. With the infectious music still beating in my mind it made for a wonderful night at work even though it was raining. “Suck it up princess” is a phrase I can now say I have done fully in this instance. I have figured out that I am me and can not be what others want or perceive me to be. I have had many talks with a few people and even though they stood beside me and helped me stand back up, it was me who had to dust off myself and say ok enough damn it, back to the real world now. My children are now grown so I do have the right to say “It’s all about me!” I am back with a new attitude to live life to its fullest and make every day count for myself, and not other people. If others can’t accept that then it’s their problem not mine.

It’s funny how one conversation can bring back flashes of memories that just fill you with laughter. That happened today as I talked with a good friend. Our talk started off innocent enough and went from talking about pedicures and manicures to wearing a cross your heart bra. It brought to mind the day I went for an actual bra fitting. Oprah actually got me thinking about it since I was sure I was not wearing the right bra. Now I am pretty open minded and not a lot embarrasses me but that day I was mortified. I walked into the shop with pride and dignity thinking I simply going to be measured and shown a range of colours and styles. Well I was measured and then the lady who was in her late 60’s and actually looked like she was FROM the 60’s, took me to the area where my size was and proceeded to show my all that was available. I chose 3 different types and stayed with the basic colours tan, black and white. She then led me to a change room and told me to try them all on. I was to ring the bell when I had the first one on. Now I really have no problem standing in just my bra, but when I rang the bell and she came, stepped into the change room and closed the door I got a wee bit uncomfortable. I was told to raise my arms above my head while she touched and prodded trying to see if the girls were sitting lady like inside the cups. She told me to extend my arms out to the sides and before I knew it she had one hand inside the cup manoeuvring one girl into its proper place. In a weird way I was glad she was looking at the said girl instead of my face because she would have seen my look of shock that was now blanketing my entire face. I quickly looked down at her hands and then just as quickly looked away. Its cool the different patterns one can see on the ceiling when one concentrates hard enough. Well after her hand cupped, manoeuvred and sat first one girl inside the cup and then the other she said it looked good. I looked down, meekly smiled and nodded. She suggested I try on the others but I politely declined. I bought the style I was fitted into and bought the same bra in the 3 basic colours, then I quickly left the store. Now don’t get me wrong, I’m not prude, but when one is not expecting the girls to be handled, mauled and to be placed strategically into cups, it’s not the best experience. I will say that those bras are kept for special occasions when the girls need a little pep. Other than that, it’s the Walmart brand for me. I just put the girls where they belong and off I go!

Monday, March 7, 2011

Cherish what you have...before it's gone

A peek into my weekend window

What a weird weekend. First, all the rain and then to wake up to yet another joke from Mother Nature and Old Man Winter. I guess they think they have a sense of humour. I’m sorry, I’m just seeing their humour!

Even though Saturday was filled with rain it turned out to be a good day. I had a few hours of work at the center and then it was home to relax for a bit, then change and make our way out to Camp 31 in Paris. The dinner was excellent. How could it not be as we sat by the back window and watched them manually smoke the many dozens of ribs under the wooden shelter? Camp 31 is known for their Southern style smoked ribs and ohhhhhhhh can you smell the delicious aroma even as you get out of your car to enter the small restaurant. The décor is absolutely amazing if one likes the old cabin style. It’s so cosy and really makes a person feel like they are actually inside an old fashion wood cabin. It was a dinner filled with many laughs and plain old gossip. Yes we did gossip about others but oh well. After the stress of the last month I didn’t really care. Between children, cancer scares, work, a car accident and then the battle of words when it comes to the Insurance Adjuster, amongst many other personal related problems, we all needed a release from our own realities. After finishing our dinner, we paid and walked out the door where upon seeing a family of deer walking across the field out back of the restaurant. It was almost picture perfect as the fog was slowly swirling around the soaked ground while 7 deer nonchalantly made their way across the barren field in the pouring rain. We watched for a bit and then our group dispersed for the evening to make our way back to our prospective homes. Now it was time for my favourite part of an early evening. A leisurely bubble bath with my music playing and a glass of wine to boot. What a way to end a soggy windy Saturday!!

Yesterday morning I awakened to another blast of old man winter. It didn’t look to bad and actually looked quite pretty outside, until I began to shovel off the deck. Under all that pretty white snow was a mixture of ice and slush. Bentley just loved all the new snow while Abby slowly and carefully made her way to the back of the yard to do her business. She was not a happy camper and once done she slowly made her way back, gave a small grunt at the door commanding me to let her back inside so she could go back to her warm blanket. After clearing just enough snow to get to the truck, clean it off and then start it to warm up and melt the thick sheen of ice covering it, I went back inside to get ready for work.

Once at work I had to do the same thing. I cleared a few pathways from the driveway to the doors and then salted the entrance ways. I had just finished when the first group arrived. Now my day was beginning. As usual a coffee was delivered to me by one of the regulars. Only this time it was an xl coffee. Seems he had a major house warming party the night before and needed an xl as well so he grabbed one for me. I bit back a laugh because he really did look in rough shape. It turned out to be a quiet day so all was good.

Today I woke up and could not get warm for the life of me. With a steaming mug of coffee beside me and curled up under a fuzzy warm blanket I chatted on Facebook for a bit and then went and warmed up with a long leisurely shower. I made myself another coffee, curled up on the couch again and turned on a show I normally never watch. I stopped being interested in the Maury Povich when all his shows became about DNA testing and girls who need it to figure out who their baby daddy is. Well today was really a heart wrenching one that went beyond the so called norm of reality TV. It was 3 girls, 16, 15 and 14. Just babies in most of our eyes. Anyway these teenage girls were wild and out of control. The poor mothers were in tears begging and pleading their daughters to please stop their wild behaviour. One Mother even cried that her daughter was killing her inside. That girl just pfft and rolled her eyes. Maury himself said he had never had teens this far gone thus leading him to air this episode for everyone to witness. I won’t get into the whole show but the heart wrenching part was so real you could actually see the look of shock on these teens faces. Each teen went with a guest speaker, had a private chat to try and figure out what was happening in their lives to make them behave this way. Then each teen was taken to a funeral home and lead to a casket. When it was opened, their mothers were laying as still as possible inside. It was heart wrenching watching these young girls see their moms inside this box. It certainly was memorable in a horrible shocking way. As the show ended each girl was sobbing and saying how they want to change. One can only hope they do. Sometimes it really does take a shocking thing to make one change.