Sunday, February 27, 2011

A good day......

Time out with a few girl friends can make for a very enjoyable time. We started our night out with a few drinks at a very quiet restaurant. We than moved on to ordering our dinner. We talked about everything under the sun. We steered away from anything that would put a damper on our evening and just let loose. We had an amazing meal and even threw caution to the wind and ordered desert. As we were eating desert the evening’s entertainment began. That was the end of the quiet restaurant. What a hoot. It was karaoke at it’s finest. I was amazed, awestruck and at times almost pissed my pants laughing as people grew more comfortable (thanks to the drinks consumed) to get up and sing their own renditions of different songs. We did have a couple serenade our table but as the old story goes… was too good to be true. The pair was very much in love and even kissed each other after they finished singing. Yes they were gay, but damn they were both very very good looking!!!!!! We ordered one more round of drinks spent some time laughing and joking around and before long it was time to leave. What a great way to end the week.

Today I’m at work with a new lease on life. Gone is the old and on with the new. A friend commented on my last blog about how good it was to see me smile again. I will be honest and say it has been awhile since I did smile a real smile. It’s a good feeling when someone notices something like that. It also eases the mind when you can understand who and what you can count on and make peace with it within yourself. One thing I can always count on is my Sunday morning coffee from one of the regular patrons. It’s always delivered with a smile and a cheery hello. If only I was 10 years younger!!! The center is filled with the usual sports groups and then later on there will be a birthday party upstairs and after that a birthday party in the gym, so it will be a very busy day for sure.

Well only 21 more days of winter, so the calendar says. I’m wondering who is supposed to tell Mother Nature this. Did upper management forget to send her the memo since waking up this morning the shovel was once again in use. It seems Mother Nature is trying to impress Old Man Winter a little bit too much. I just can’t wait until spring. I’m looking forward the seeing the green grass, the buds popping out and the sound of the birds once again. I’m really hoping that our yearly guests come back, making themselves comfortable in one of the small corners of the house. What a treat it is to watch as they renovate their home, making sure it is safe and secure and then over a period of time watching as a family of 2 becomes “The Birdy Bunch”.

As we head into another week………… “A Sunday well-spent brings a week of content.”

Saturday, February 26, 2011

Some pits in the cherries are not always that bad

A few unexpected and very unwelcomed things have happened over the last two weeks, but I came across a quote that seemed fitting to one of the unexpected and unwelcomed happenings.

How people treat you is their karma; how you react is yours. ~Wayne Dyer

I did post a whiney ass blog but than removed it once I read this quote. It did hit home and I thought to myself that I am so much better than that. I’ve made a few adjustments to myself, heaved up my big girl panties and will go on. Oh I’m sure things will be tense if not a bit uncomfortable at times since it is hard to walk with a wedgy. That’s probably why I hate wearing thongs! Ok, that’s a bit more info then anyone needs to know, but it’s true. I’ve turned a few pages in my book of life and I feel good about it. The good feeling must mean that it was the right thing to do. Some times it really does take an anvil to smack one upside the head in order to take a look at yourself, see where you are and where you need to go. I have a ways to go before I can say I have done all I need to do, but I am well on my way and I do feel good! I have let go of some and have connected to others on a level that I never really knew existed since I became a victim of my own doing. Some are from my past while others have stepped into the gateway of my future endeavours. I am looking forward to whatever life has to offer now because I am now in control of me. Oh and before anyone assumes things all the ones I have connected with ARE females…lol Maybe I shouldn’t have said anything. A little bit of juicy gossip always adds a bit of spice to other peoples lives!!!!

Tuesday, February 22, 2011

wellll dahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!

Sometimes I just have to shake my head in amazement at the stupidity of some people. A few years ago upper management called the Manager of the Parks and Recreation unit at home, told him to come into H.R for a meeting and then bluntly fired him due to major cutbacks. Tonight at work, I was talking with two supervisors and they informed me that another manager is now slated to be hired. Applications are now being accepted for this position. After destroying this man’s livelihood as well as his spirit, they decide his position was needed after all???????????

Thursday, February 17, 2011

A good day all the way around

What a laugh I had this afternoon. It was so mild out that I noticed that the huge pile of snow out back had finally decided to shrink thanks to the warm sun. So with Bentley and Abby in toe I pulled on a pair of old farmer winter boots a few sizes too big, a thick sweater, my mittens and my plum/purple vest and out to the back we trotted. Now Abby has become an old lady that just likes to lay while Bentley is filled with more energy than 4 children hyped up on sugar. While Abby sunned herself Bentley ran in wild circles wearing off some energy. I grabbed the shovel and began to clear the softened pile of snow away from the foundation of the house. My neighbor saw me and asked if I minded another pair of hands. Normally I would have said it was ok and told her not to worry about it, but she looked like she needed a bit of an escape so I told her sure. Her daughter has split from her hubby so poor Carol now has her daughter plus 2 young children in her house. She gratefully took me up on the offer and came around, grabbed a shovel and started to help me. Bentley had learned the knack of jumping up into the 3’ box garden at the back of the yard. This way he can see over the fence to the neighboring yards. Well the snow Carol and I had been removing from the foundation of the house had grown into a pile near the box garden. Bentley watched curiously as the pile grew in size. I’m not sure what he was thinking, but in a burst of speed he dove into the pile. I almost pee’d my pants laughing when he sunk way down. His poor legs were submerged deep into the snow until his belly was lying flat. He tried to escape but to no avail. Both Carol and were pretty much in hysterics as the poor thing just looked at us as though to say “what happened?” I went over and had to dig him out between me laughing hard and his whining I finally got him free. He scrambled off towards the deck, turned and barked a few times and then laid down beside Abby to watch. We finally cleared the snow into another pile but this time well away from the house. Carol and I spent a bit more time just chatting while the dogs just laid there. With my cam chat in the morning and then some mild snow fun in the afternoon it turned out to be a great day!

She glances at the photo, and the pilot light of memory flickers in her eyes. ~Frank Deford

Today I took a trip. I was alone, but not really alone and it felt wonderful. I walked down many roads and made many stops. I ran into so many old friends and acquaintances and spent long moments of catching up. Today I took a trip back to my roots. I had hit the lowest point of my life that I can remember and after a long sleepless night I came to the conclusion that MY life matters. Not someone else’s life, but mine. Not any one else’s feelings but mine. The friend I called last night called me back first thing this morning to make sure that I was ok. After assuring them I was fine we started talking about life as children. I never knew this person as a child and in fact I have only known them a little less than a year, but their shoulder has been one of strength and comfort during the last little while. My friend had a brilliant idea to log onto the computer and turn on our web cams. We decided to share some of our childhood memories. There was to be no talk of present hurts or angers, this was going to be just fun times. We gave each other 30 minutes to gather anything that we wanted to share, make a coffee and meet back on the web cam. I had to call the hair dresser and cancel my appointment to get my hair done since one thing I do admit to is not being a very graceful crier, in fact this morning I looked more like Kermit the Frog than he himself did. Thank goodness she had a cancellation for tomorrow after work so I grabbed that slot gratefully. So with photos and photo albums in tow along with a huge mug of coffee we began a morning of reminiscing. It was rather hectic there for the first little bit since Bentley decided it was not normal to hear a voice coming from the computer so until I got him settled Bentley was the main attraction. Once things calmed down we started our trips down memory lane. I met my friends’ mom and dad, grandparents and siblings and friends. My friend met all of my family and friends and of course they met Bentley, Abby, Neko and Tiggs (short for Tiger lily). My friend and I talked about how things were as children and the rough times we had. We showed each other funny pictures of ourselves and talked abour our favo It was hard to believe that 3 hours had passed, but it was certainly the best time I have had in years. It is so good to let go of all the stress of life and just go back to your roots. I can’t believe how much I really missed all my family and friends. It kind of sheds a new light on present troubles. I wasn’t sure if I could have pulled myself up off my arse this time after falling so hard, but I proved to myself that I am strong and that I can do and handle anything life throws at me.

Wednesday, February 16, 2011

Definition of STRESS
1: constraining force or influence: as
a : a force exerted when one body or body part presses on, pulls on, pushes against, or tends to compress or twist another body or body part; especially : the intensity of this mutual force commonly expressed in pounds per square inch
b : the deformation caused in a body by such a force
c : a physical, chemical, or emotional factor that causes bodily or mental tension and may be a factor in disease causation d : a state resulting from a stress; especially : one of bodily or mental tension resulting from factors that tend to alter an existent equilibrium
Letter “c” applies to me.
Wow, I never knew my head could hold in so much stress that I can actually feel it pulsing. I sure needed a shoulder tonight and as I dialed the number I prayed they would pick up. Oh what a huge relief it was when I heard that now familiar voice saying hello. This person listened as I spewed out at least 10 minutes worth of verbal diarrhea. I really needed to let everything pour out without being judge or condemned for what I was saying. Tonight I wrote a blog and it was taken totally out of context with someone. This person got very upset and for that I apologize for. I do not apologize for anything I wrote as it was jumbles of hurt, disappointment and anger all rolled up into one massive ball of words. Another person had tried to explain that it was just words and that I was venting. I sure fucked up on this one, but oh well what’s new. I was about to burst into tears right then and there but I held it back and told the person I could not talk at this point because I was at work. This person left very hurt and upset, but again, I could not do anything because I was so unstable myself. When I was given a hug from a friend because she said I needed one a simple sentence that was said by another that was not meant to hurt me just made my heart sink. It made me feel even worse and I got all flustered not knowing what to say, whether to laugh or cry, but I did as I always do and pulled up my big girl panties. I asked my friend to be honest with me and tell me if I was wrong, they simply said “we all have a breaking point and whether it be right or wrong no one should judge.” At this moment, one of the lowest times I have felt in months I could not dispute that with my friend. This friend knows what I have been going through in my personal life as well as my work and refused to comment on whether I was right or wrong. They just listened and I really needed that. I still need to break down and have a good cry, but since I’m not done work for another 45 mins I’ll have to wait. No doubt when the house is quiet and there is nothing but darkness I will be able to let the tears fly. Thank goodness I have stocked up on tissues

Scritchin my head once again

As the recently famous one liner says…my give a damn is busted. Over the last little while I have felt back stabs from family and friends. Whether it is family/personal or work I have felt the sharpness of the blade slice into me a few times. A few slices have been received through so-called witty banter while other slices have driven straight through. Work for one has left me speechless on more than one occasion; with everyone trying to get their asses into the so called half vacant seat of our 40% retired Supervisor. I have to just shake my head at what lengths people will go to in order to feel they are important. It’s sad in a way how some try to hold the persona of “I know more than you do”, or say off handily that this is the way it should be done when in all actuality they haven’t got a clue as to what needs to be done. I guess it’s true that when ever there is a wee bit of authority needed the piranhas seem to just swarm around. It’s actually funny watching the confusion of everyone who thinks they should be the ones making decisions flounder around like a fish out of water. It is a fact that no one has really been trained in areas that need to be taken care of, but instead of some admitting they really don’t know what to do they take over thinking that they have saved the day. What a sad story this has turned into all because one person wants to retire. I wonder how fast the floundering fish will swim back down to their normal depths in 14 days when the “part time” retired supervisor returns to resume most of her centre duties.