Sunday, February 28, 2010

Not title for this blog cause I couldn't think of one

What a beautiful sunny day today. Well at least that’s what it is starting out like. The weatherman is calling for rain and snow showers later in the day, but for now I will try and soak up as much of the sun shine through the office windows as I possibly can. This afternoon, two countries adding up to millions of people will be glued to the T.V to watch the final game of the 2010 Winter Olympics. Canada is looking to bring home the gold in The Men’s Ice Hockey event, but the battle lines have been drawn since the American Men’s Hockey team is fighting for the same bragging rights. I do have to say with great pride that Canada has done excellent and represented our country well over the last 2 weeks. I’m not much of a hockey fan, but I will join in with the rest of my country and scream…..GOOOOOOO CANADA GOOOOOOOOO!

The last week has been an up and down battle of emotions for me. I have blogged about burning old bridges and building new ones but sometimes, no matter how hard we try, some bridges refuse to be taken down and it’s not because I refuse to let something go. In fact, it’s the complete opposite. I came to terms and dealt with my emotions and placed the memories in a safe place where I can easily smile and say I am ok with the way things turned out. I’m not saying I agreed nor am I saying it was the right thing to do, but I came to terms with things and survived. Then I received a call that just about blew my big girl panties right off my backside. To say I was speechless was an understatement. Hell I can’t even think of a word that can describe it. Anyway….. I have been trying to deal with old doubts, mistrust and many more emotions, but on the other hand, I am also thankful that I didn’t completely burn this bridge to the ground. Maybe this bridge wasn’t meant to be burned. Maybe it just needed a bit of construction, or maybe it is a test of the strength I have inside myself, who knows.

Sunday, February 21, 2010

Don't count your years, make your years count!

Well, after a relaxing night, a few glasses of well deserved wine and a good nights rest I am very refreshed and ready to conquer my day.
Yesterday was a blucky day for me and I’m not sure why. It was written that I was being a tad bit whiny yesterday. I’ll not point fingers but I’m sure a certain P.I.C knows who I mean (lol). All kidding aside, I know she was just razzing me and I hope she enjoys MY coffee next Saturday morning!!

After work yesterday I attended a Birthday celebration for a dear friend of the family. This woman has enjoyed 95 yrs and continues to look forward to enjoying whatever life hands her. It was wonderful seeing extended family members again. The last time I was in their company was when my dad passed. It’s always a great spirit lifter to see family, friends and loved ones on joyous occasions instead of the usual sombre sad times.

Happy 95th Birthday Dorothy!

Saturday, February 20, 2010

Saturday Worday...blahhhhhhhhh!

9:00am Saturday morning. The sun is shinning but it’s deceiving as heck when one walks out the door of a warm house and feels the bite of the cold slip into every crack and cervix of your body. A quick stop at Tim Horton’s, then on to the gas station to pay an obscene amount of money to fill the bloody gas tank and then onwards to the place that summons me out into a cold morning, a place that’s called work.

9:30am: Unlocked, unhinged and flicked on the lights to welcome people into the building. After turning the office heater on high, taking off my coat and rushing to the bathroom (since the cold didn’t seem to freeze my plumbing) I am able to sit back and enjoy the peace and quiet as I warm my old bones preparing myself for the on slot of screaming children and sometimes weary and frustrated parents.

10:15am: All seems ok. No crying can be heard above the screams of children having fun in the gym, but I’m still cold. Looks at the clock and takes a big breath. Only 5 more hours to go.

10:50am: The first group of children are leaving as the second groups starts to file in. One down 2 more soccer groups to go and then 1 hockey rental.

11:00am: Second soccer group just settled in and the screaming has started again. Glances once more at the clock. Only 4 more hours to go. The heater finally has warmed the office up but damn it my feet are still cold!

11:50am: Second group of children starting to vacate the building A few tears and screams coming from a child who thinks he was being picked on because he never had a chance to score a goal. Third and final group of children starting to file in. A few parents stopped in to say hello and even a hug from one child’s guardian. Glances at the clock, only 3 more hours to go.

11:25am: The final group of soccer children is really small and they are a bit older than the first 2 classes, so there is no screaming or crying. A few complaints from one child saying he needs faster shoes because he can’t keep up with the ball.

12:50pm: Soccer is done for the day! Yeeehaww!!. Hockey guys are standing in the hallway waiting patiently to be given access to the gym. It’s a very poor turn out so they will probably be ending sooner then scheduled. Glances at the clock, takes in a happy breath, only 2 more hours to go, and yes, my feet are still frigging cold.

1:30pm: Hockey team is settled into the gym and the sounds of deep male voices hollering mixes in with the smacking of wooden hockey against the cement floor. I do have to admit that I’m feeling a lot better now since I only have 1 hour and 30 mins. to go. My mood also changed when the contract holder of the hockey group asked if I would like a coffee on the Saturdays that I work. How sweet is that!

2:00pm: 1 more hour to go! Spell checks this blog and gets ready to post it since my P.I.C. will be here in a bit to take over the rest of the day. I’ll be off to a Birthday Party Open House for a dear sweet lady who is celebrating her 95th birthday. Then its home to make dinner, and spend a quiet night keeping warm and watching T.V.

Thursday, February 18, 2010

Just something to write about

Last night I took part in a conversation about how short life is when you think about it and for a change it had nothing to do with someone passing away or some ones health issues.
It seems like just a few years ago I was running the streets being a normal teenager rebelling against my parents. Looking back, I did give my parents many causes for concern and upset, but not near as many as my siblings did. I attended my fair share of unsupervised parties, telling my parents I was sleeping over at a friend’s house when in fact we all spent a few nights at places that we should never have been. I experimented with drugs only once and did not have a good experience with it making it the last time. I could use the age old excuse “I grew up in an abusive home” which in fact I did, but since I’m a bit more mature now, that excuse doesn’t seem to fit now. I was asked if I regretted anything I did in my youth and in all honesty there is nothing I regret, since my past behaviour has made me who I am today. That doesn’t mean I wouldn’t change certain things in my life, it just means that all I did in my youth became a learning experience. If I could turn back time, there are a few things I might have done differently, but, if I was able to change things I would not have what I do today and I’m not talking about material things either.

I have tried hard to change my outlook on my own life and not just life in general and I think in some small ways I have succeeded. I never went by the self help books because in my own opinion they are filled with the proverbial bull crap and if I am able to face myself in the mirror then I’m doing ok. Am I following the rules of life? Definitely not, but it is working for me. I’m not saying I’m where I want to be in life, I’m just saying that where I am now is helping me become who I’m suppose to be when I finally grow up.

Tuesday, February 16, 2010

Working through my problems

Well, not much has happened in my little area of the world. At least nothing of real importance. Work seems to be going well and since I was working Valentines Day I was brought an extra large coffee from one of the regular hockey guys which was a very nice surprise. Monday (Family Day) I did absolutely nothing and boy it felt good. I don’t have very stable hours at work and they are spread all over the place so it seems like I am at work more than I am at home. Tonight starts an 11 day work week for me. My hours are sporadic but for 11 days in a row I will be spending at least a few hours at the centre each day.

I think I was beginning to enter into the famous “mid-winter blues” until I glanced at the calendar and noticed that in 4 weeks from this past Sunday is Daylight Savings Time and six days from that is the first day of Spring! This part of Canada has really nothing to complain about when it comes to winter since to date we have barely received anything remotely compared to say the Southern States of America. Let’s hope I haven’t spoke out of turn and pissed off Mother Nature but time will tell.

I still haven’t decided what the next item on my bucket list will be. I have been suffering a slight lull in my day to day routine, but I think it’s time I hike up my big girl panties and shake off the so called hum-drums. We all have those times but in all honesty, the more you wallow the deeper down you seem to feel. I swore to myself that I will not let myself go that low ever again and that’s a promise to myself that I intend to keep. A few weeks ago the subject of settling with what you have, verses what you want, came up and in all honesty there is no right or wrong answers to that question. In my own thoughts and again, this in MY thoughts it all depends on what one is willing to give up in order to have what they feel could be or would be the better of the choices. Could that be construed as settling? In certain ways yes it can be, but again it all depends on the person and the reasoning’s behind their decisions. Well that was kind of just thrown in here and that’s only because it just happened to slip past the little voices in my head and into the tips of my typing fingers. Who would have thunk that DM could multi-task without thinking about it!!!

Well that’s it for now fellow bloggers, not a whole lot but at least it’s something……..

Saturday, February 6, 2010

Stephen King moments...........

In my own little corner of the world I have been blamed for many things. Sometimes, and only sometimes I am guilty and will admit to those definite blundering mistakes, but if I didn’t do anything and I am blamed, I will fight tooth and nail to absolve myself of blame, that is until an encounter I had Thursday evening.

This passed week a very dear and sweet man passed away. His passing was felt by all who knew him. I really wanted to go to the funeral home and pay my respects to this man and his family, so I had someone cover my shift Thursday night so that I could attend. This is when the “strange encounter from the very weird kind” occurred. Upon arriving my P.I.C and I were shocked to see so many empty spaces in the dark parking lot. We were worried we had the wrong funeral home so my P.I.C rummaged around and found the obituary noticed she had clipped from the paper. Sure enough we had the right place and were well within the allotted visitation time slot. When we got to the door, the usual formal dark suited employed door opener did not open the door for us. He said he didn’t see us, but in all honesty I think the poor bugger fell asleep standing up. Anyway he was able to direct us to the “viewing room” so onward we quietly step. Now we all know how uncomfortable some funeral occasions can be, but never in my wildest dreams did I expect this. The room was empty except for the daughter (I think), the deceased ones grandson, 2 other people and of course the deceased one himself. When we enter the room the 2 people were saying goodbye and giving their condolences to the other 2 family members. My P.I.C and I stood back graciously while they hugged before exiting the room. When we were alone with the 2 family members, the quietness became rather awkward, at least for me, so I introduced myself and my P.I.C. as staff members at the community centre where the deceased had been very active and well liked. There were no smiles or pleased to meet you hand shakes, instead the woman stood with her arms crossed and said as bold as can be……” yes, I think that’s what finally did him in. All the work he did and then he was left with nothing to do”. In a few short seconds I felt like I had entered a very weird Stephen King movie. This woman actually made me feel like I was to blame for this person passing away! To say I was speechless is an understatement. I was passed that and well into the middle of “oh my God I’m so sorry I didn’t mean for this to happen to him! I really did feel like saying please forgive me. My P.I.C. chose that exact moment to step away and pay her respects to the deceased. I hurriedly followed suit and tagged long behind her feeling literally dazed and confused. We both had a moment of quietness with him and then wandered around to look at pictures that had been placed on various tables. Since there was no one around, we signed the guestbook and made our way out. The woman had disappeared along with the formal looking dark suited door opener leaving only the grandson to thank us for coming. Again, Stephen King entered my thoughts giving me the hebe gebe’s and desperately wanting to get out of that place. My P.I.C and I decided to go for a coffee since time was on our side and low and behold, the busiest Tim Horton’s was not busy at all. In fact it only had a few spatterings of customers…enter Stephen King yet again. I’m not sure what was going on Thursday night, but it was certainly a quiet night for the city and rather a strange one at that.