Cleaning out my Closet.

Today I decided to tackle a few of the closets in the house and damn, did I take on a huge job. Can anyone say “vintage”? I had forgotten a bag full of clothes that I had tucked way back in the closet and as I opened it oh my goodness, clothes that I had forgotten about laid folded inside. There were actually 3 bags of clothes that lay before me. One was clothing from my mother when she passed almost 25 yrs ago and a bag of my dads clothes, who passed almost 3 years ago.

I never kept ALL my parents clothing, just a few things that I could not bare to let go during those times…..well ok….there were more than a “few” things. It took me a while, only a few tears but many smiles as I slowly went through their clothing remembering them and all the different memories. I began to make a pile of things to take to the Salvation Army. It really was still pretty hard to part with things but I think I did well. I kept 1 thing from each of them that I could tuck away in my personal trunk.  I kept a belt buckle from my mother. Before mom found out she had cancer she had started to go on trucking trips with my dad. Dad was a long distance trucker back in the 70’s and 80’s so mom decided to shed the god-awful nylon dresses and flats and transformed herself into a true trucker’s wife. The jeans, cowboy hat, plaid shirt and a western style belt buckle with an eagle emblem. Oh how she cherished that buckle since she loved the Eagle so much. This belt had been inside the bag of clothes so I removed the buckle and placed a regular buckle onto the belt. I then put the belt into the Salvation Army pile.  Dad had been bald as long as I can remember, well not completely bald. He sported the Caesar look with just a small bit of hair from one side to the other. The top of his head was completely hairless therefore he would never be hatless out in public. He went from baseball caps; to cowboy hats to finally settling on the Brixton style hat in his later yrs. When dad was taken to the hospital, my step mother had to grab his hat since dad refused to go unless he had his hat on. This hat was in the bag of my dads clothing so I took it out and placed the other remaining clothing in the Salvation Army pile. I decided to keep these 2 items because they personally describe my parents in a way that puts a smile on my face. These 2 items now have a new home in my personal truck. I didn’t even bother to go through the bag that contained my cast off clothing since I had either “outgrown” them or they “outgrew” me! I took everything down to the Salvation Army used clothing drop box and then went to Timmies to toast yet another step in my personal quest.

I'm back in my saddle :)

With the events of last week behind me and the strong positive feedback I have been receiving (even from the upper management of the place I just left) I feel fit as a fiddle and ready to tackle anything now. I AM woman…hear me roar!

With not having to spend my Sundays in the old office anymore, yesterday was absolutely wonderful. I just lounged around for a bit and than begin to get my house all in order again. I chatted on FaceBook and MSN for a bit and then watched some T.V. The weight that has been lifted off me is amazing.

Wednesday is Anti-Bulling Day and this is a cause that is worthy of everyone’s attention. I did purchase my “Pink Shirt”, I’m just not sure if I’ll receive it by then, but that’s okay, I can wear it anytime and it’ll still mean the same! I do have a pink T-Shirt that I can wear if I don’t receive it in time. Bullying is bullying whether it is children bullying children in public school, youths bullying youths in high school, cyber bullying or bullying in the workplace it’s something that should never be tolerated at any time or any place.

Anti-Bullying Day and how it began……the short version…..

On February 29, 2012 we encourage all of you to wear something pink to symbolize that we as a society will not tolerate bullying anywhere. I wish I could take credit for this idea but it comes from two incredible Nova Scotia high school students. Here is a snippet of the Globe & Mail article which inspired us:

“David Shepherd, Travis Price and their teenage friends organized a high-school protest... to wear pink in sympathy with a Grade 9 boy who was being bullied…[They] took a stand against bullying when they protested against the harassment of a new Grade 9 student by distributing pink T-shirts to all the boys in their school.

‘I learned that two people can come up with an idea, run with it, and it can do wonders,’ says Mr. Price, 17, who organized the pink protest. ‘Finally, someone stood up for a weaker kid.’

So Mr. Shepherd and some other headed off to a discount store and bought 50 pink tank tops. They sent out message to schoolmates that night, and the next morning they hauled the shirts to school in a plastic bag.

As they stood in the foyer handing out the shirts, the bullied boy walked in. His face spoke volumes. ‘It looked like a huge weight was lifted off his shoulders,’ Mr. Price recalled.

The bullies were never heard from again.”

Will you join in by wearing pink on February 29th?

The full story....
http://www.cbc.ca/canada/story/2007/09/1…

Life after..........

Well the first 2 days of being unemployed have felt absolutely wonderful. I no longer have to deal with the cattiness, backstabbing and fake and phoney attitudes of so called team players. It seems that being a “Team Player” in this place was only shown in front of the upper Management and Supervisor with the phoney friendly smiles. When they were no where in sight…watch out…. the bitchy…I’m better than you cat claws appeared. As I look back over the past 16 years I can smile about 15 years of that. The last year was pure hell. I can not recall even one day over the last year that I have felt the true happiness that used to echo through the building. When I thought my back was covered it wasn’t……I was left to fend for myself while others stood by and did nothing to lend support. I certainly wasn’t going to sniffle and whimper about how my emotional stress was doing things to me. I decided to do something on my own. As drastic as it was it was also the most freeing feeling that I have felt in over a year. I’m very well aware that I’m still being crapped on in a not so subtle way but in all honesty I could care less. It’s amazing how much support I have received from far and near since taking that final step. I just hope that when karma comes around to certain ones it doesn’t bite too hard.

Sooooooooo………… onward and upwards as they say.

Now, back to my regularly scheduled blogging……

Today between bouts of rain I was out on the deck talking with my neighbour. She had her 4 year old grandson out with her and the little boy was clearly upset about something. He swatted his grandmother on the behind and yelled that he was running away. He then stormed down the deck stairs and crawled into a small opening of lattice that covered the lower part of her deck. He then proceeded to call out to grandma that he ran away and not to call him until dinner time. We had a laugh, talked for a bit more and then we both went into our houses. She was followed closely by her grandson while he was telling her it was to cold to run away right now and maybe he’ll run away tomorrow instead! This brought back memories of a time that I decided to run away from home but for me I made it to the end of the street and sat on a log at the top of the ravine bank. It was Summer time so I was able to spend a few hours there, reading my favourite book “The Bobbsey Twins” before my hunger got the better of me. I was 11 years old and even though I thought my mom was mean for making me do chores, I decided that life on a log at the end of the street wasn’t so great after all.

One more door closes

Well I did it! One more step to becoming the strong independent woman I know I can be. I closed one more door. I quit my job as I am tired of constantly being put on the defensive side by attacks from some who has been trying to out me for a long time. She won, BUT I never lost, I grew balls and instead of whining and bitching as hurtful as it was I handed in my keys and tag and closed a very long chapter of my life.

Family Day 2012

Well today is Family Day in Ontario Canada, a Provincial holiday and after working yesterday my Family Day is going to be spent curled up with the computer or the remote for the T.V. The other half isn’t feeling too great so I’m just going to enjoy a day of REST and RELAXATION! I was invited to attend the Family Day spaghetti dinner down at the centre and I was seriously thinking about going, but the couch and fluffy blanket seemed to have bowled over that idea. During my shifts at the centre yesterday I had a chat (well more than 1 chat) with the gentleman who is in charge of setting up this function. There is a lot of work involved that’s for sure. He had spent most of Saturday and all of Sunday at the center baking the deserts. He had to make more than a few runs to the grocery store to pick up extra supplies. I guess next year things will be planned differently! The dinner I’m sure will be yummy as a Chef from a neighbourhood restaurant “Over Easy” will be preparing the meal. Everything will be made from scratch! Apparently they are expecting in and around 300 people. This gentleman and I spent more than a few chats throughout the 2 shifts that I worked yesterday laughing and joking around. It’s so good to be able to feel the laughter and fun times once again down at the centre and guess what? There was no talk of what had transpired over the last few months, what a welcome relief that was!!

I was debating on going to the Centre of town “

Harmony Square

” for the Ice Sculpture carving, but again the couch seemed to win over that idea as well. With the kids all grown and out of the house, they all have their own plans leaving this house to a quiet day! Some people have to keep themselves busy as they walk through life, but me…I’m a bit different. I have come to realize that if you don’t stop and smell the roses, then you are actually missing out on one of the best things in life.

This morning I chatted with a very dear friend on FaceBook about my next trip North this coming summer. I am so glad I went last summer since the bonding that happened between us was one of best experiences that I have had.

People come into your life for a reason, a season, or a lifetime. When you figure out which one it is, you will know what to do for each person.

We met in our first year of high school and even though our lives took unexpected twists and turns and gossip and misunderstandings dominated our adulthood we spent a week last summer reconnecting. This saying really rings true to me because over the course of the last 6 years I have had a few people come into my life for the reason of loneliness and few have seen me through a season of casual friendships while some have stuck by me through thick and thin. Never judging me or expecting me to be someone I’m not. Allowing me to grow, fall, have meltdowns and being a strong shoulder to lean on. We all have our times when the rest of the world turns their back on us, but a real friend will always know there truly is a reason why we are unhappy. Family doesn’t always have to be connected by blood, they can be connect by the inner soul as well.

My thought for today........

Well now things have finally settled down and after chatting with a friend last night before he left the centre after his rental I know he’ll be ok. He was the friend/brother of the one that had passed away last week and as he said, “my heart will always ache but if anyone knew Jay then they would know he would not want life to stop because he’s no longer here”. Now that’s what I call a strong man that is in touch with his feelings. His smile was genuine and as he thanked me for talking with him I felt myself changing deep within. Sometimes one has to look past their own upsets and emotional turmoil and have empathy for someone else and what they are going through.

As we grow up, we learn that even the one person that wasn't supposed to ever let us down probably will. You'll have your heart broken and you'll break others' hearts. You'll fight with your best friend or maybe even fall in love with them, and you'll cry because time is flying by. So take too many pictures, laugh too much, forgive freely, and love like you've never been hurt. Life comes with no guarantees, no time outs, no second chances. you just have to live life to the fullest, tell someone what they mean to you and tell someone off, speak out, dance in the pouring rain, hold someone's hand, comfort a friend, fall asleep watching the sun come up, stay up late, be a flirt, and smile until your face hurts. Don't be afraid to take chances or fall in love and most of all, live in the moment because every second you spend angry or upset is a second of happiness you can never get back.

- Unknown

The cry of their hearts

Today I was still having a hard time wrapping my head around the tragic passing of a male acquaintance. Last night I talked to a very good friend of this man and he ended up in tears. I couldn’t help but give him a hug as his tears fell. He then pulled back and laughed it off like most men would do but he did say something that really got to me. He said the sadness hasn’t hit yet because the anger has taken hold. You see, this young man committed suicide. The man that was crying was very close to him and knew he was sick but never did he think this would happen. You could see the hurt and anger in his eyes even though he loves his friend so very much. I won’t get into the whole suicide topic since it’s a very deep topic, but one that has many avenues. It’s just so sad that this man left behind 3 children, a wife, a mother and father and many family and friends that now have to cope with this tragedy. My heart goes out to all of them.

Just............................

After the trials and tribulations of last few months and then the shocking news of the passing of a young and energetic man I was acquainted with, it certainly reinforced my need to enjoy whatever time I’m graced with before my time is up.