Monday, June 4, 2012

Mother's Warnings!!!!!

The other day I was at the Garden Centre having a wonderful time picking and choosing different flowers for the back yard. I was rather surprised that it wasn’t that crowed but then again it was a wet cool weekend. I had a shopping cart full of flowers when this high pitched cry filled the area. There was a young child of about 5 screaming her head off in the next aisle. I looked around thinking that O.M.G. this child was hurt, but it turned out that her mother wasn’t going to buy her something she wanted, hence the shrill screams of a temper tantrum. I went about my business and then had to stifle a laugh when I heard the mother say as calm as can be that if the child did not stop her crying she would place a For Sale sticker on her forehead and let someone buy her. It seemed to have worked since she stopped the crying. Later that night I began to recall all the warnings my mother said to us kids as we were growing up.

If you don't stop crossing your eyes they will stay that way.

Stop picking your nose, your finger will get stuck and when the Doctors pull it out your brains will fall out.

If you fall out of that tree and break your neck, don't come crying to me.

If you want to run away, ill help you pack.

If you keep making that face, it'll freeze that way, and you'll never have any friends.

If you swallow that gum, it'll take at least 7 years to digest, and then it still may gum up your insides.

Always make sure you wear clean underwear, you never know when you’ll be in an accident.

It’s always funny until someone loses an eye.

Once you go all the way, you can’t go back to holding hands.

Clean your plate, think of all the starving people in the world that would love to eat what you do.

Stop that crying or I'll give you something to cry about.

I hope you have a kid just like you.

Don't go swimming for 30 minutes after eating or you’ll drown.


Mina said...

Your experience in the garden centre reads like a Robert Munsch story. lol Like I said, I am surprised that I have both eyes after all the "you'll poke your eyes out" warnings. Thanks for the memories.

Judy said...

Hilarious. I heard most of those from my mom. And I've probably used a bunch of those same lines on my own children :)

JoJo said...

BWAAA HAAA HAAA Love those!! Heard them all too!!!

Anonymous said...

My mother meant what she said, and when I fell off that tree (bicycle) and split my chin open, she told me to go to my father because she warned me, and I didn't listen.