I’m not sure what made me think about different blasts from my past but it happened. Some of those blasts are wonderful memories while others are filled with sorrow and hurt. I think I have come along way and even though I have not, nor will I ever forget the hurtful and sorrow filled memories, I have come to terms with them and laid them to rest. I think the time during my dads brief illness and then his passing, brought to light a few emotions that I didn’t want to deal with but ultimately had no choice. I have spent many countless hours piecing the so called puzzle of my life together and now I can say with confidence I have succeeded. I can not say what the future will hold, nor would I even want to know, since life is only as good as what you want it to be. I am the keeper of my stars and with that being said, on to more happier memories………
My first kiss. Wow when I think back I have to smile. A boy named Arthur. At 10 years old he was my first kiss. I’m not sure if it was fireworks I was seeing, or the thought of feeling the slap upside the head from a very strict mother if she ever found out.
My first slow dance. I can remember it like it was yesterday. Warren Edge. His arms wrapped clumsily around me and we danced to The Beatles song “Hey Jude”. At 13 years old I thought the song was never going to end.
Then high school started and my life took on it’s own personality. In other words at 14 years old I began the rebellious stage. I smoked ground up tea leaves rolled in cigarette papers and felt guilty as hell when my girlfriend and I snuck beer out of her dad’s fridge and drank it. I did feel guilty, but damn it was fun! We went to un-chaperoned parties and threw a few of our own. My body felt the stinging scratches of falling into bushes when I was so drunk I couldn’t stand let alone walk.
I then joined the Sea Cadets and was seriously going to join the Navy. I did some pretty outrageous things during that period of my life. The main one being a group of cadets, including myself went on an unsupervised weekend camping trip to Brant Park. Needless to say there was alcohol and guys. It was that weekend that I lost my virginity. Being 15 at the time, I thought I was all that and more. Wow did I have a lot to learn about life back then! I felt teenage love and cried nights on end when I thought my broken heart would never mend. Its funny how often your heart can be broken and mend. It may hurt for a long time but down the road when one has matured to a certain degree, you can look back at all the heart breaks and actually smile thinking about them as you shake your head and say “what the hell was I thinking?”
I look back now and can smile as I recall the countless bike rides I took with friends along with my true and devoted friend Mr. Crud. May he Rest in Peace somewhere at the bottom of the landfill site. I have come along way down the path of life but Robert Frost says it all “ I have miles to go before I sleep”. I know the path of my life is mapped out before me and I might take shortcuts and do stopovers on this path, but all in all I AM the keeper of my stars.