Tuesday, March 9, 2010

Just Memories!!!

I’m not sure what made me think about different blasts from my past but it happened. Some of those blasts are wonderful memories while others are filled with sorrow and hurt. I think I have come along way and even though I have not, nor will I ever forget the hurtful and sorrow filled memories, I have come to terms with them and laid them to rest. I think the time during my dads brief illness and then his passing, brought to light a few emotions that I didn’t want to deal with but ultimately had no choice. I have spent many countless hours piecing the so called puzzle of my life together and now I can say with confidence I have succeeded. I can not say what the future will hold, nor would I even want to know, since life is only as good as what you want it to be. I am the keeper of my stars and with that being said, on to more happier memories………

My first kiss. Wow when I think back I have to smile. A boy named Arthur. At 10 years old he was my first kiss. I’m not sure if it was fireworks I was seeing, or the thought of feeling the slap upside the head from a very strict mother if she ever found out.

My first slow dance. I can remember it like it was yesterday. Warren Edge. His arms wrapped clumsily around me and we danced to The Beatles song “Hey Jude”. At 13 years old I thought the song was never going to end.

Then high school started and my life took on it’s own personality. In other words at 14 years old I began the rebellious stage. I smoked ground up tea leaves rolled in cigarette papers and felt guilty as hell when my girlfriend and I snuck beer out of her dad’s fridge and drank it. I did feel guilty, but damn it was fun! We went to un-chaperoned parties and threw a few of our own. My body felt the stinging scratches of falling into bushes when I was so drunk I couldn’t stand let alone walk.

I then joined the Sea Cadets and was seriously going to join the Navy. I did some pretty outrageous things during that period of my life. The main one being a group of cadets, including myself went on an unsupervised weekend camping trip to Brant Park. Needless to say there was alcohol and guys. It was that weekend that I lost my virginity. Being 15 at the time, I thought I was all that and more. Wow did I have a lot to learn about life back then! I felt teenage love and cried nights on end when I thought my broken heart would never mend. Its funny how often your heart can be broken and mend. It may hurt for a long time but down the road when one has matured to a certain degree, you can look back at all the heart breaks and actually smile thinking about them as you shake your head and say “what the hell was I thinking?”

I look back now and can smile as I recall the countless bike rides I took with friends along with my true and devoted friend Mr. Crud. May he Rest in Peace somewhere at the bottom of the landfill site. I have come along way down the path of life but Robert Frost says it all “ I have miles to go before I sleep”. I know the path of my life is mapped out before me and I might take shortcuts and do stopovers on this path, but all in all I AM the keeper of my stars.


Mina said...

"Keeper of my stars" what a beautiful quote!

It is wonderful that all the memories, good and bad, we can both sit back and laugh because they are all apart of who we are today. The song Hey Jude..is never ending...just as this journey we are on. We have miles to go before we sleep. Hugs

ME said...

Wow glad that you have such a great memory to remember all this, I don't remember none of this shit lol