The Letter F

F is for Friday the 13th

I’m not really superstitious, but I do know a few who are very superstitious, especially when it comes to Friday the 13th. They will not step on a crack for fear of breaking their mother’s back. Walking under a ladder is totally out of the question and if they see a black cat well hells bells to them the world is going to end. Breaking a mirror is a fate worse than death if one has this particular fear. I’m not going to throw humour into this since I’m sure many people do take this date seriously, but I will be honest and admit that I am glad that I never ran into Jason Voorhees!

 

I do love this date though, but for another reason. I have always had this thing about motorcycles and bikers and every Friday the 13th there is a bike rally in the small lake side community of Port Dover just a hop skip and jump away from me. This year the rally will be in September since that’s the first Friday the 13th of 2013 and then again in December. I have never managed to get to that rally since I have either been working or others don’t have the same “interest” in it as I do. It’s also a rally a female should not attend alone, hence my reason for not attending. It can be dangerous on many fronts especially since it is really a huge party that pretty much fills the small community streets.

 

The last Friday the 13th the rally had an estimate of 70,000 bikers in attendance all packed into a community of 63,175. I’m pretty sure it is a small party compared to the famous Sturgis Falls Rally in South Dakota, but around these here parts(trying to sound very southern) the Port Dover rally is a pretty cool event!

 

 

 

 

The Letter E

E is for Embarrassing Moment

Not too long ago I had a job interview. I had finally come on a job that I really really wanted and I searched this place on the internet to learn all I could about it. The night before the interview I went over the usual questions that were normally asked to make sure my answers sounded intelligent and that I had really learned about this place. I wanted to make a good impression.  My interview was for 9:30am the next morning so I went to bed early so I would look well rested and eager to be sitting in front of a potential employer.

I got up early and had my shower, did my hair, applied a small amount of make-up and got dressed. I arrived 15 minutes before my interview showing that I really was eager to join the employer’s team. The interview was going perfectly that is until I felt a rumble in my stomach. I was trying not to shift around too much in the chair. I was answering all her questions without batting an eye when the unthinkable happened.

I could feel it building up and thought to myself …dear god nooooooooo not now please. I tried shifting again and could feel it deep inside. She was skimming over my resume when all of a sudden this loud rumble filled the air. I closed my eyes and prayed that that noise was only heard by me but when I opened my eyes I knew it wasn’t. That’s right. I farted. It wasn’t a quiet poof either…it was a loud rumble. She was classy enough not to say anything but I could see that she was holding back a giggle. All I could say was “my goodness, excuse me” with as much dignity as I could muster. She smiled and said nothing.  We continued the interview and after it was over she shook my hand as I departed. She said that she would be in touch. She called a few days later and said that she had filled the position but would keep my resume on hand in case things didn’t work out. I can’t help but wonder if that puff of air that snuck out was the real reason?

The Letter D

D is for Drama Queens

 

A Drama Queen is usually described as a diva, neurotic and self-centered.

Let’s face it; we all have encountered Drama Queens in some point in our lives. I know I have. There are many forms of Drama Queens. Some are rather funny to watch for sure, others not so funny.

The Funny Drama Queen……..There is a reality program on Canadian TV called Big Brother Canada (the idea borrowed from our American neighbours). Anyway, there is a player named Gary who if he doesn’t win the entire prize, should definitely win an award for being the best ever Drama Queen/Diva. You really should tune in if you can get it in your area. I’m sure he’ll give you many laughs. His Drama Queen/Diva moments are far too many to begin to list. Check him out on YouTube!

The irritating Drama Queen…… These are the Drama Queens that most people want to gag in order to shut them up. They are either complaining about how unfair life is to them or how they suffer emotionally and physically when something does not go their way. They seem to be suffering so much yet they post their moments on Facebook and blogs. I’ll admit I was following a few Drama Queens as they posted on both Facebook and blogs until I got tired and posted my own retort and then deleted them off my friends list. My post simply said “pull up those Big Girl Panties and move on!”

The Selfish Drama Queen…… These are the Drama Queens who expect the world to always revolve around them and make sure they are the center of everyone’s attention. They talk the talk, but they certainly don’t walk the walk. If people don’t fawn all over them and tell them exactly what they want to hear, they get upset and somehow turn things around to make others feel guilty that they have upset them. These are the ones that are usually insecure about whom they are and just need to be tolerated or ignored.

The Mean Drama Queen….. These people really need to get a life. They purposely look for things to pick apart on others. The spin their own tales of woe on others in order to make themselves look like the innocent party. They say and do things, twisting and spinning webs of meanness towards other people. The look for validation from others, hoping people will comment and agree with everything they say. I had a few of these people in my life that I finally had to cut all ties to since they wanted nothing but to spew hurtful words at others and purposely throw nasty innuendoes at others to keep the fire fueled. These people border on being a bully and need to be dealt with accordingly.

The Letter C

C is for Canadian

I’m not a lumber jack or a fur trader,

And I don’t live in an igloo...

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I don't eat blubber or own a dog sled, and I don’t know Jimmy, Sally or Suzie from Canada

Although I am sure they are really nice.

 

 

I have a Prime Minister, not a President

 

 

 

 

I speak English and French… NOT American

 

 

I pronounce it ABOUT…not ABOOT

 

 

 

 

 

I can proudly sew my countries flag on my backpack, I believe in peacekeeping NOT policing

Diversity NOT assimilation…..and the beaver is a truly proud and noble animal

 

 

 

 

A toque is a hat…

 

a chesterfield is a couch

And it’s pronounce ZED…not ZEE…..ZED!

 

 

 

Canada is the second largest landmass

And the 1^st Nation in hockey

And the BEST part of North America

 

 

 

 

 

My Name is DM 

 

I am Canadian!! J

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The Letter B

B is for Barbie Doll

I’m sure the majority of us females and maybe even some males had or enjoyed playing with the very popular blonde doll known worldwide as Barbie. Most every girl had at least one Barbie with many many outfits. I used to love playing with my Barbie although dressing her was a task that I usually had to beg my mother or my older sister to do. I always wanted to be as pretty as Barbie and have her wonderful blonde hair. I’d spend hours dressing my Barbie for a day at the beach and take her swimming in the pool and then spend even more time dressing her for the Grand Ball the Ken would take her to that night. I’d root through the drawer in my Barbie suitcase looking for just the right shoes to go dancing in. I’d fix her hair with the tiny pink brush and make her look beautiful. I would then dress Ken in his sparkly silver suit and smooth down his brown plastic head full of hair, set him in the Tonka truck that I borrowed(without permission) from my brother so he could pick Barbie up for their date. They would have a wonderful time and then would spend the night in separate sides in my Barbie case until I took them out again.

Back then I never fully understood the body proportions Barbie had. Yes, I always knew she was very well endowed and had a tiny waist, but she was so pretty. Her clothing never fit right over her boobs but she was so glamorous that I didn’t care. All I knew was that I was going to grow up and be just like Barbie. Today there is much to be said about the glamorous doll and most of it is not good. In today’s society thanks to TV, magazines and huge billboards a girl has to almost starve herself in order for her to think of herself as pretty. If I only knew then, what I know now, I wouldn’t think Barbie is the most beautiful thing ever. To be honest she is grossly disproportioned. Not only are her boob’s waaaaaaaaay too big for her body, but her waist is not even a waist and her height, well it may be good for being an amazon woman but not for the average man. Do I still think Barbie is beautiful? No, in fact I find her a rather disturbing icon for young girls.

The only redeeming fact of the Barbie Doll is that they have now brought out the Barbie for girls who are fighting cancer. Kudos to them for taking away the blonde locks of Barbie and giving her the look that these courageous young girls can relate to!

 

                                                                                    

The Letter A

A is for After Eight Mints and Appendix Operation

Back more than a few years ago when I was 17 years old I had to have my appendix out. Back in those days you were admitted into the hospital the day before surgery to be prepped and starved for the next day’s operation.  The night before I had my surgery I wandered up and down the hallway since I was pretty scared and ended up at the sun-room. There was a rather good looking guy that was sitting there and we began to talk up a storm. He told me he was in for a skin grafting procedure on his arm after a motorcycle accident. Within that short amount of time we really got to know each other. Two strangers in the night per say (ok so that’s a bit cheesy) anyway we really had a good time and talked far into the night. Well not that late since the nurse in charge of my case ordered me back into bed since I had a scheduled surgery first thing in the morning. My new friend smiled and squeezed my hand wishing me a speedy recovery time and promised he would see me before either of us was discharged from the hospital.  My surgery went well and after my operation I was put into the recovery room until the anesthetic wore off. When I was wheeled back to my room, there on my pillow was a red rose and a box of After Eight Chocolate Mints from my hospital friend. To this day I still think back to that time in the hospital and smile. If it wasn’t for needing my appendix out, I would have never met him. I haven’t seen or heard from him sense, but I often wonder where he is and how he is doing. And YES I do love chocolate mints…especially After Eight’s J

 

A Great Canadian Singer

I can still see the smile on my fathers face as he watched the thudding stomp and deep rich Canadian voice of Stompin Tom Connors.

Rest In Peace Tom

http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_detailpage&v=UxJvrD80nJ4