Recently a subject came up between a good friend of mine and my self regarding the issue of trust and deciding on whether one could trust or keep quiet. It was a good conversation to get into since we both have our own experiences with trusting others. It took me a while but in the end I gave my trust to this person and have not been disappointed or hurt by them. I am one who watches, looks and listens not only with my ears, but to the subtle or not so subtle topics of conversations and have learned to read between the lines. I do want to make it understood that this blog is in no way related to any one particular person and is only for the purpose of my thoughts and feelings to this topic.
We all need an ear and or shoulder from time to time, some more than others and that’s where the issue of trust comes into play. Not all of us have the means to seek help from a professional. Whether it’s because of funds or just plain mistrust it’s just not something everyone is able to do. That’s why I watch and listen to people I feel close to. Read between the lines and then take the scary step into confiding to them. There are a few parts of trusting someone that I have a problem and those are judgement and voicing ones “advice”. Maybe it’s because I have been judged on my actions one to many times and in a way we all are, but it’s the vocal judgement of not being understood. Damn does that make sense?
To me and again this is my thoughts and do not pertain to any single individual, when I need a shoulder and someone to talk to or confide in I may need a gentle nudge to get me on the right path again, but one thing I do NOT need is ones vocal opinion telling me how and why something should be done. Even if I ask for someone’s input that person should be able to read my mood and demeanour especially if that person is classified as a truly dependable good friend. Honesty is NOT always the best policy in my book. That’s just how I feel. I might tick some people off but oh well, that’s life. I have found a true friend that I feel comfortable confiding in and although it took a bit of time to trust that person I could finally see that they would not judge me nor offer advice even if I asked for it. Is this sugar coating? I don’t think so. I believe that if a person is truly seeking advice, they know deep down what should be done, and they are only looking at the confidence as a means of getting prepared in their own way to deal with the situation at hand. It was said once that a good friend should listen with their hearts and not by the ears or lips.
Ok, steps down off my soap box and wishes everyone a weekend filled with fun and relaxation.