Ouch!

"People say that age is just a state of mind. I say it's more about the state of your body." - Geoffrey Parfitt


You know you’re getting old when you sneeze and cough and then feel a horrible pulling sensation in your groin. Well that’s what I did this morning and damn it does hurt! I stayed on the couch the majority of the day with the heating pad hoping the stretched muscles would slowly shrink back into a more comfortable length, but that didn’t help. Tonight was Zumba and I couldn’t even do that because it feels like every muscles in my groin area has been stretched to the limit. I was able to peek in and watch and HOLY SHAKE YOUR BOOTY BLOGGERS!!!!!! My P.I.C did the front row! Good for you P.I.C. I’m giving you a standing ovation plus a thumbs up for doing that.

Thats about it for my blogging brain tonight, I have just gone totally blank when it comes to what I was going to blog about. Damn this “sometimers” it sneaks up on me all the time!!!!!!

Things don't change. You change your way of looking, thats all...

Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things you didn't do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover.


That quote was from Mark Twain. It was also read at The Celebration of Life in honour of my father. A 78 year old man stood up and declared this reading as one my dad would have liked, since more often than not dad did what he wanted whether it was frowned upon or not.

Yesterday was what I would call an eye opener of sorts. It’s hard to explain, but even though I knew my dad I really had no clue what he was all about. Yes, he was my dad. He instilled his morals and values on us kids. He was a hard worker, a stubborn cuss and a very stern man when it came to us kids and directing us into the life of adulthood. But that was only one side of him. It was the side that only us kids could see. The other side of him was filled with wanting to explore his dreams and discover everything he could about anything he was able to. It’s hard to picture my father as someone who had dreams, and I’m not being disrespectful either. It’s hard to fathom because he was my father, and I’ll be honest, I never really thought much about my dad actually having a life other than being a father to us kids. My children probably think the same thing about me. Mom has a life other than being a mom? Noooooo that’s just not possible! I have decided that I am going to write a type of journal so that when I am gone and my children hear that I did have a life other than being just a mom, they can read about the other side of me. I’m sure they’ll laugh, gasp and cry out oh my god, mom did that? There again, that will be an eye opener for MY children.

The end of the work week....

T.G.I.F it seems like it has been a very long week. Maybe it’s the coolness of the day, but I’m certainly glad it’s Friday. Now I don’t have to go in till Sunday and that’s just fine with me.

Tomorrow morning I go and have my nails done again. I really can’t afford it, but since I don’t usually spend money on myself I have decided that it’s time I do a few “me” things. In the afternoon I have another Celebration of Life to attend in honour of my father. This one is for all the family and friends who were unable to make it into town when we held the first one.

As for the rest of the weekend, the weather does not sound to promising so going to work on Sunday won’t be too bad.

I hope everyone is able to enjoy their weekend whether Mother Nature is in a good mood or not.

Ohhhhhh what a night!

Last night I stepped way out of my comfort zone, and to be honest it wasn’t as bad as imagined it would be. I guess I had to prove to myself that I can do anything if I put my mind to it. It’s not an easy thing to do, but once the initial step was taken, it all just fell into place. Now I “was” awkward and thanks to the heat in the gym, my face was red so no one could see how damn much I was blushing but it wall all good in an Egyptian sort of way. It’s your turn next time my P.I.C!!!!

I had to leave the Zumba class a tad earlier than normal so I could get the money all sorted out before my usual night time brain farts began. It’s damn hectic not to say freaking confusing trying to keep track of cash verses debit versus credit cards for payments. Not to mention who paid and by what means. And P.I.C, thank you so much for that yummy treat you brought me. I must confess that I was on overload so when the coast was clear I sampled it, which led to another small sample and that in turn led me to pouring it into my coffee cup and taking into to the office with me! Now that’s what I call having a coffee break!!!!!!!!

After my “coffee break” the usual hockey group came EXPLODING through the doors in their usual cheery ways. Hi sunshine was echoed in unison as they all but bolted towards the gym. Once they got settled and my coffee cup was half empty I can honestly say I WAS a ray of sunshine. I was able to get all paperwork done and the top of the desk sorted out and cleared away just as they finished up. Then it was time to head home for the night.

First post of Autumn 2009

The first day of autumn and what a mild day it was. The sun really didn’t show too much, but the humidity was extremely high. I was hoping that today’s tot’s program would be different from last week, but my hopes were dashed when the same father that stayed for the entire morning with his child last week, made another all morning appearance. Don’t get me wrong now. He’s a nice enough gentleman but the age group for this class is 2-5 yrs of age. Now he may very well have a 2 or 5 in IN his age, but that’s beside the point. Ok, I held my breath and expelled slowly in order not to go on about this. My new grip on my own corner of reality (those damn voices in my head) is to not sweat the small stuff any more. So far I think I have done a pretty good job, especially when it comes to my work. Back a few months ago if a parent had decided to stay for not one but 2 full mornings because they feel their child may be to young for this type of program, I would have been frustrated as hell. This time I’m not going to worry about it and I’ll let the parent play and do crafts with their own child and I will concentrate on the other children who are in the class. So I am patting myself on the shoulder and saying, “keep up the good work!”

Tonight I have a centre full of people so it is pretty hectic. There is ball hockey in the gym, a meeting in the large upstairs room and another meeting in the upstairs boardroom. When I had a chance, I slipped outside to get a bit of fresh air and I heard what I call a major sign of fall. It was dark outside and I could only see the faint “V” outline, but the unmistakable cries from a flock of Canadian Geese was echoing through the air. Since the centre sits just in front of a wooded area I could actually smell the leaves on the ground. I immediately went into my childhood mode and remembered raking the leaves into a huge pile and either running and jumping in them or taking turns being buried under them. Ohhhhhhhhhh, to be a child again. Who knows I just might find a pile of leaves in the near future and take a running leap into it!

Tomorrow I have the morning off so I’ll probably do what I have grown used to doing and just mess around on the computer. As you have probably heard as your reading this, I have learned how to add music to my blog. It took many different tries and a bit of cussing and deleting, but I finally did it. Yahhhhhh me!!!!! I think my next attempt will be to……………….no never mind, I guess you’ll just have to wait and see.

Last Post for Summer 2009!

The last weekend of summer has come and gone. Damn I’m not sure we can even call what Mother Nature gave us this time as a summer. I guess I can’t complain since this past weekend was filled with sun shine and warmth. It was my Saturday to work and since I work every Sunday it was a busy weekend for me. After work on Saturday I came home and cleaned the house from top to bottom. I vacuumed, dusted and febreezed every square inch of the house. I had invited some good friends over for a bar-b-que, a few drinks and a night of laughs, and laugh we did!

Sunday I had a pretty full day at work with the usual rental group and hockey teams. It must have been my lucky day since during the course of the day I had 3 Tim Hortons coffees delivered to me. I had a friend come and visit with me at work and between giving out ice packs and answering the phone we were able to have a good visit.

Today it’s rainy and just plain yucky out. Traditional for the last day of summer. I’m just going to kick back, relax and watch whatever daytime shows that seem interesting. Have a good day everyone!

Just Something.....

*I may not have gone where I intended to go, but I think I have ended up where I intended to be*

And in my best Forest Gump voice...."thats all i got to say about that"

Pulling up my own big girl panties for a change!!!

Today is just going to be one of those lazy assed days when I don’t do a thing. I have the day off, but I do go in tonight so my inner management (those little voices in my head) has told me to take it easy. There are many things I could voice my opinions on, but I’ll keep those to myself, at least for the time being. I do feel somewhat vindicated in my own little way about something that has been coming to a boil for a very long time. I was
able to voice “my” feelings about certain things that had been weighing heavily on me. All the help books and all the T.V help celebrities are always stating that it’s your own inner soul that needs to be helped before you can feel any peace within yourself. I was always worried that I would hurt or anger others if I said what was hurting me, but as they say, do not worry about others, let them worry about themselves. Since I have voiced what was inside of me, I do feel lighter and better about myself. I don’t feel guilty or ashamed and I don’t feel regret. I have learned that my inner peace is just as important as anyone else’s and if I don’t take the initiative to help myself, than why should anyone else? So, I can say with a clear heart and mind, I AM ME AND MY FEELINGS ARE JUST AS IMPORTANT AS ANYONE ELSES!

With that being said, it’s onward I trod to explore and experience all I can while I am still able to.

What a day!!!

Today was one day I wished I could have stayed in bed with the blankets over my head. Instead I had to get up, do my usual morning chores of feeding my mini zoo and slowly get ready for work. I did think I had a bit of time before I had to leave, even though I was going to be leaving about 20 minutes sooner than normal. Well the 20 minutes earlier turned into almost 45 minutes earlier starting my whole day off on a rather sour note. I was half dressed and had a mouth full of toothpaste when I heard a beep in the driveway. I looked at the clock, shrugged it off and finished brushing my teeth since it was to early for my ride. I brushed my hair and slipped on my shirt and heard another longer beep coming from my driveway. This time I looked out and there was my ride. I frantically dragged the puppy out to do his after breakfast business, dragged him back in and slipped on my shoes, grabbed my purse and flew out the door. I just knew this was not going to be a good day.

Since this was the first day of the Tot’s program, I was expecting some tears and a few pleadings from the children as the moms tried in vain to leave. The tears were not really that bad and that gave me a bit of hope. Then one father, and one mother decided to stay for the morning, making it impossible for me to guide their children into a morning of play and fun. At this point, I’m not sure who was having the problem, the parents or the children. The morning finally ended and then I was back home for a brief period of time and then back out for the bi-annual Health and Safety training. Talk about boring! It was all I could do to keep myself awake. I did take notes when the Health and Safety rep, indicated certain things would be on the test. I did the usual chicken scratch whenever she said to, thinking I was at least alert enough to do that. Wow, was I ever surprised when the test came and everything she had said would be on the test …wasn’t! I stumbled through it and was relieved when I was able to hand it over to her knowing it would be another 2 years before I do it again. Then it was back home again to grab a quick bite to eat and then head back to work to do my evening shift.

The one hockey team I was hoping would not show up because it was rather early in the season for them to start IS coming so I’ll get home about 10:30. That’s just enough time to take the animals in my zoo out for the night, bring them back in and then fall right into bed. What an exhausting and busy day!

When is enough...enough??????

I have been told, and I do agree 100% that blogging is more of an online journal where one can type out their thoughts and feelings in a publicly controlled way. Controlling it is easy since you can allow comments, dis-allow comments or just not post anything to personal since it is sort of a public forum. I allow comments on my blogs since I don’t write anything of a truly personal nature. Sometimes the comments can give me another spin on what I have blogged about helping me out when I need it. Other times the comments are put there to make me laugh and sometimes the odd comment is put on to do nothing but piss me off. Even those comments I allow to be posted since I have chosen to join the Blogging Community and all the wonderful and not so wonderful bloggers.

This blog will contain some personal feelings I have dealt with and over the course of time I have put them to rest. But one never knows when some piece of news or contact with certain people will bring the feelings to light once again. I must warn you that this will be lengthy so by all means, go get another coffee or tea, get comfortable and read till your hearts content because there will be some who knows exactly whom and what I am talking about.
Stating once more for the record...this is MY blog...MY journal and MY feelings.

Many years ago (roughly 10 yrs) a good friend of mine went through some very troubling times within her life and marriage. The only alternative this friend felt she had was to end her marriage and move away. It was distressing to all who was involved but it was something my friend had chosen to do. Yes it was even distressing for me since she was a childhood friend and I was going to miss her dearly. Not to mention the fact her husband was friends with mine. My friend and I had some pretty harsh words towards each other about her decision but when all was said and done, I realized she had to follow what her inner self guided her to do. Because of the close relationship we shared I had some back lash about her decision, but I stood up and firmly defended her actions even though some people blamed her for everything. Over the years my friend and I still had some issues and obstacles that we had to work on and some worked out and others just seemed to fester and grow bigger. I’ll not blame everything on her because I know there is and always will be a silent barrier between us. I’m not sure what it is and even if I did know I’m not sure it could be fixed. My friend has stated recently that since she has moved I have not called her nor came to visit her but she has called me and visited me, and she has. I can not disagree with that. But in all fairness to me she has only come to visit me when she has been in town to visit her family. She has not taken the hundreds of miles trip “just” to visit with me. The latest accusation from her was, her feelings that I did not understand her sense of humor when it came to something she had written and if we were such good friends how could I think she would be that disrespectful to me. The only reply I have to that is timing and wording. I had complained about a few things on my blog about how some people use the Facebook web page to air out their dirty laundry and personal lives by writing “stupid assed comments”. I did more or less complain about it and wrote something to the effect that maybe they should use better judgement. Within a 24hr period she had posted her “sense of humour” comment on the Facebook web page. Now that normally wouldn’t have bothered me had it just been that. But there was an indirect retort about waiting for the Facebook Police to say something to her. Now remember, I blogged about this, on my blogging page. A totally different site. Blogger.com has no relationship to the Facebook page at all. Yet there was a direct stab at what I had written on my blog on the home page of Facebook. I did privately call her on it and as per usual with her she turned it around and tried to make ME feel as though I was the one misunderstanding things. Now please, if I am off base with this one please tell me fellow bloggers, since she is insisting that I am the one that has disrespected our friendship by accusing her of taking a stab at me. I will eat crow and apologise if I am in the wrong, but I honestly do not feel I was wrong. When I look back over the last 10 years, it has become very apparent that this friend will push the blame on others before she takes onus for anything.

People always come into your life for a reason, a season and a lifetime. When you figure out which it is, you know exactly what to do.

What a beautiful day!

Well it’s another beautiful day signaling the arrival of fall. It’s getting dark earlier, and the nights are growing chilly. You have to wear a sweater in the mornings, but by noon, it’s back to being fairly warm out. I have noticed the leaves on some trees are already changing colour and chestnuts are scattering under every chestnut tree. I’ve noticed the constant rumblings of lawn mowers are now far and few between and bags of leaves are now decorating the curbsides where there used to be bags of lawn clippings. Fall doesn’t officially start for another week, but as we all know, Mother Nature never follows the calendar rules.

Another sign of fall for me is the return of the regular Ball Hockey groups. Throughout the summer there was only the regular Church Service on Sundays, but today was the official start of just one of the many Ball Hockey teams that rent the centre. Over the next couple of weeks the remaining teams will start and by the week after Thanksgiving all teams will be in full swing. Wow, time is going by so quickly, it’s almost scary to think about. When you think about it, Thanksgiving is just 29 days away, and I won’t even mention what comes next! I’m thinking maybe I should get my “Bucket List” out again and start making plans to get a few more “bucket” items checked off since time is passing by so dang fast. I’m not sure what those items might be yet, but I’ll do at least 2 by the end of 2009.

A good day

Bills, bills and more bills. That’s all I seem to concentrate on lately, which in turn has put me into a slight slump. Well enough is enough. At least for me it is. I’m doing it again but this time I caught myself before I got sucked into the black hole of throwing myself a pity party. Today I met a friend for coffee and before I knew it we had talked half the morning away. This past summer I have had to weather a few things on my own and it wasn’t easy. I was beginning to feel the old self pity thing happening to me. You know, the feeling of no one really cares about what I have been going through, because they have their own problems. It’s strange how fast the proverbial wall can start to go back up when you begin to feel you are alone and no one is there for you. I have to admit that I was getting tired of always being the arms that help hold others up. I was tired of being the ears that others used when they needed to talk, or being pushed aside or shut out of people’s lives when they no longer needed to vent. It felt so good when I was asked how I was doing and how I was coping with the loss that I had suffered. Don’t get me wrong. I’m not one to make my feelings known and I try and act like I’m strong and don’t need a shoulder so others won’t feel “obligated” to ask how I am doing. But again, it felt good to know someone actually cared enough to ask questions about “me”.

Anyway, enough of that since I have cancelled my pity party and the “funk” that I was falling into has slipped back into the shadows. Work doesn’t seem as gloomy anymore, even though we will only be working 2 mornings a week. Two mornings a week is better than having no working mornings and the majority of the sports teams are slowly starting back up. We went in this past week to wash up the toys and to get the bulletin boards ready and it actually felt good to be back into the routine of listening to the mumblings of a certain person while we enjoyed our morning coffee. My Supervisor has also begun to be nicer to me and finally includes me in conversations when she makes her dreaded appearances in the room. I’m not sure how long that will last, but I have made a pact with the little voices in my head to not let myself get upset with the complaints and back stabbing that will surely begin soon.

I went to an actual Salon and had my nails done properly. I have been getting the acrylic French Tip nail manicure done and the last few times I have not been happy with their work. The tips seem to break off or chip and they just don’t seem too enthusiastic about their work. This time I made an appointment with a regular Salon to have it done and I am very impressed with the outcome. They were friendly and very helpful and made me feel completely at ease. Yes it cost a bit more money, but it is true, “you get what you pay for” and I am worth the money it takes if it makes me feel good about myself. I went out with a friend and while they were busy doing a few errands in and about the mall, I ran into a co-worker. She bought me a coffee while we both waited for our scheduled appointments and during our coffee we had a really nice talk. We parted ways and I was off to spend the rest of the time with my friend. All in all it was a good day!

Hear Ye Hear Ye...I need attention!

Facebook, MSN, ICQ, Yahoo and Blogs. These are all excellent ways to keep in contact with family and friends, that is until people start airing their their personal problems and writing things to bring attention to themselves. I stopped using ICQ along time ago; I don’t have MSN although all my kids use it. I’m not on Yahoo, but I do have Facebook and as you know, I do have my blog.

Facebook is a good communication program but in all honesty I am tired of reading stupid assed updates on the people I have added onto my Facebook page. I know, you’re probably thinking “just delete these people”. I have begun my own filing system where in I start to place people into certain categories. The first category I have called “Just Plain F*&ked up”. Those people have been deleted and are now floating around the cyberspace landfill site. The second category I have called face book game junkies. These are the ones that play every single game on face book and to make matters worse sends me the freaking game, clogging up my face book page. The third category is the whiners and complainers that air the personal problems on the walls of a very PUBLIC site. I’m sure 99.9% of the friends people have on their face book do not want to hear that you have argued with your brothers or sisters or a friend. That you have received bad news or suffered a loss. As far as I’m concerned such matters should be dealt with in a personal way either by email, phone or even on a private blog. I recently suffered a loss in my life and not once did I post my loss on face book. All my face book friends had no idea my father was ill. It was only a small close group of friends that I had PRIVATELY confided in that knew of my situation. Even when my friends on face book found out about my loss, they used discretion and privately sent their thoughts and condolences to me through the face book email. No wonder face book is always under scrutiny and some web officials want face book taken down.

I am a dedicated Blogger. Well as dedicated as time will allow me to be. I only have given certain people my Blogger address and those are the ones that I would want to know my personal business. A blog is a personal journal where one can write whatever they feel and if they choose they can have people comment on what they have written.

I guess what I’m seeing is those who post personal drama and such on Face Book are those who need the continued attention of others and can only achieve this attention by using a very PUBLIC forum to gain attention and sympathy.

Good Morning Elgin Street Neighbours!

Damn this morning was a chilly one. Don’t ask me why, but I was up bright and early. I fed all the animals in my private zoo, donned my jacket and boots and took the pup out for his morning backyard visit. It really is quiet in the early morning hours and I was rather surprised at how the sound of a dog barking echo’s in the air. There is a family of wild rabbits that have decided to make a home under the garden shed at the back of the yard. I’m guessing the mother rabbit pushed the father rabbit out of his slumber to investigate the noise that we were making in the yard. It seems that the wild rabbits of the city have no fear since a rather large brown one hopped out into the center of the yard and just sat there, this in turn sent Bentley into a barking frenzy. The long eared creature continued to sit there unimpressed while I held firmly to Bentley’s leash and tried to hush him. A few of the neighbourhood dogs decided they wanted in on whatever action was happening and started to bark as well. Lights began to turn on in the surrounding homes and I could hear voices shushing their dogs as the choir of barking rang through the air. I rather clumsily picked up my 25lb puppy and hurried into the house hoping no one would see that it was my dog that started the whole thing. I’m sure the rabbit enjoyed seeing my rather hasty retreat since it was our noise that made him have to get out of his bed in the first place.