I have been told, and I do agree 100% that blogging is more of an online journal where one can type out their thoughts and feelings in a publicly controlled way. Controlling it is easy since you can allow comments, dis-allow comments or just not post anything to personal since it is sort of a public forum. I allow comments on my blogs since I don’t write anything of a truly personal nature. Sometimes the comments can give me another spin on what I have blogged about helping me out when I need it. Other times the comments are put there to make me laugh and sometimes the odd comment is put on to do nothing but piss me off. Even those comments I allow to be posted since I have chosen to join the Blogging Community and all the wonderful and not so wonderful bloggers.
This blog will contain some personal feelings I have dealt with and over the course of time I have put them to rest. But one never knows when some piece of news or contact with certain people will bring the feelings to light once again. I must warn you that this will be lengthy so by all means, go get another coffee or tea, get comfortable and read till your hearts content because there will be some who knows exactly whom and what I am talking about.
Stating once more for the record...this is MY blog...MY journal and MY feelings.
Many years ago (roughly 10 yrs) a good friend of mine went through some very troubling times within her life and marriage. The only alternative this friend felt she had was to end her marriage and move away. It was distressing to all who was involved but it was something my friend had chosen to do. Yes it was even distressing for me since she was a childhood friend and I was going to miss her dearly. Not to mention the fact her husband was friends with mine. My friend and I had some pretty harsh words towards each other about her decision but when all was said and done, I realized she had to follow what her inner self guided her to do. Because of the close relationship we shared I had some back lash about her decision, but I stood up and firmly defended her actions even though some people blamed her for everything. Over the years my friend and I still had some issues and obstacles that we had to work on and some worked out and others just seemed to fester and grow bigger. I’ll not blame everything on her because I know there is and always will be a silent barrier between us. I’m not sure what it is and even if I did know I’m not sure it could be fixed. My friend has stated recently that since she has moved I have not called her nor came to visit her but she has called me and visited me, and she has. I can not disagree with that. But in all fairness to me she has only come to visit me when she has been in town to visit her family. She has not taken the hundreds of miles trip “just” to visit with me. The latest accusation from her was, her feelings that I did not understand her sense of humor when it came to something she had written and if we were such good friends how could I think she would be that disrespectful to me. The only reply I have to that is timing and wording. I had complained about a few things on my blog about how some people use the Facebook web page to air out their dirty laundry and personal lives by writing “stupid assed comments”. I did more or less complain about it and wrote something to the effect that maybe they should use better judgement. Within a 24hr period she had posted her “sense of humour” comment on the Facebook web page. Now that normally wouldn’t have bothered me had it just been that. But there was an indirect retort about waiting for the Facebook Police to say something to her. Now remember, I blogged about this, on my blogging page. A totally different site. Blogger.com has no relationship to the Facebook page at all. Yet there was a direct stab at what I had written on my blog on the home page of Facebook. I did privately call her on it and as per usual with her she turned it around and tried to make ME feel as though I was the one misunderstanding things. Now please, if I am off base with this one please tell me fellow bloggers, since she is insisting that I am the one that has disrespected our friendship by accusing her of taking a stab at me. I will eat crow and apologise if I am in the wrong, but I honestly do not feel I was wrong. When I look back over the last 10 years, it has become very apparent that this friend will push the blame on others before she takes onus for anything.
People always come into your life for a reason, a season and a lifetime. When you figure out which it is, you know exactly what to do.