Thursday, April 5, 2012

The Letter E

Exhastipated …. meaning: Just to tired to give a crap.

Symptoms: 1) a feeling of total brain collapse

                    2) complete paralysis of the muscles in charge of expelling words verbally
                    3) involuntary head shakes and hand movements

I think at some point in time we have all suffered from this condition. I know I have had my fair share of exhastipation. I also know of a few people who seem to be the reason for the onset of this condition. I’m sure they don’t realize they are the carrier, but its best to avoid close contact with them as this condition may lead to complications (to the carriers). As I’ve said, I have suffered a few onsets of exhastipation, but only one to date has had a long lasting effect on me.

I was given a small 4” potted plant from a child in the preschool class I was teaching. It was a beautiful miniature rose bush with buds that were ready to burst. It did belong outside and I had the perfect place for it to be transplanted, but I wanted to enjoy it for a day or two on my kitchen window sill. Well the weekend came and I asked my other half if he could transplant it into the corner of the yard just off the deck. I had some errands that I needed to tend to and since he said he would, I left my plant in his care. Now, in all the years I have been married (and believe me it’s been a loooooong time) I have tried to understand the function of his brain and tried hard to not say the words “what the hell were you thinking?....... anyway back to my onset of this condition……….

My errands were going to take more than a few hours and included a few things I was not looking forward to. One was spending time with that darling woman I call my mother-in-law or as you may hear me refer to his family as the outlaws. It was the most exhausting and emotionally draining few hours I have spent in a very long time. I was looking forward to going to the sanctuary of my home and just letting the frustrations of my day fade away. It was later in the afternoon when I finally pulled into the driveway. At first nothing really registered, but then again the gate was blocking any major changes that the back yard had undergone during my absence. As I opened the gate something was happening to me. I stepped inside and closed the gate, still not willing to comprehend what was in the center of the yard. My mind was still on overload from the visit I just came from and seeing what awaited me was nothing short of an O.M.G moment. There before me was a 4’ round hole about 3 inches deep in the middle of the friggen back yard. My 4” potted plant was still in it’s container on the deck table. My other half stood wiping the sweat from his brow looking at my shocked face and then he had the nerve to say “what’s wrong”? I was in total shutdown as I heard him say, “I was thinking the plant would look nice here, but there was a damn tree root in the way. With the experience I just came from and seeing what had happened in my absence I just sighed, shook my head, waved his words away and walked into the house. After a few brief moments this feeling washed over me. Its hard to describe.... All I can say is thank god there was a chilled bottle of wine in the fridge. So far to date, that has been the only time I skipped the glass and took a few healthy gulps straight from the bottle!


Anonymous said...

Husbands were created by God to test our patience. It is possible to reach enlightenment through the millions of frustrating moments they will provide us with throughout the years. I read that somewhere important, I just can't remember where.

Al Penwasser said...

We're good like that.

DM said...

aw Al...we all know that between the stresses of deadlines to meet, traffic jams, financial obligations etc. it’s easy to forget the importance of taking some time out to enjoy a few chuckles with your special someone every now and then. Kudos to the husbands of the world!:)

JoJo said...

ROTFLMAO GREAT STORY!!!! So, did the little rose plant ever get planted and did it flourish I hope?

Cathy said...

ROFLMAO. The Betty Crocker image at the end is too funny. Stopping by via A-Z and happy to be a new follower.

Elizabeth Towns said...

Glorious story of exhastipation. I freaking hope I spelled that right, because I will surely be using it time and time again. Wonderfully written. Visiting from A2Z and I am sure glad I did. Hopefully all is well now, and the joy that you have given me will somehow outweigh that helluva day.

Elizabeth Mueller said...

We all need a good escape every now and then. *sigh*


A to Z co-host

Baggy said...

Brilliant - I think we can all share your pain!

Jocelyn Rish said...

Ha! Communicating with men really is like speaking in a foreign language sometimes. And you know it's a bad day when you have to drink straight from the bottle. Usually when it's bad enough I need to do that, I end up dribbling everywhere making things even worse!

Wishing you continued success with the A to Z challenge,