Thursday, April 26, 2012

The Letter W

Words of Wisdom

Here are some of my favourite Words of Wisdom

Accept that some days you’re the pigeon, and some days you’re the statue.

Always keep your words soft and sweet, just in case you have to eat them.

Always read stuff that will make you look good if you die in the middle of it.

Drive carefully. It’s not only cars that can be recalled by their maker.

Eat a live toad in the morning and nothing worse will happen to you for the rest of the day.

If you’re not part of the solution, be part of the problem!

If you can’t be kind, at least have the decency to be vague.

If you lend someone $20, and never see that person again, it was probably worth it.

If you think nobody cares if you’re alive, try missing a couple of car payments.

If you try and don’t succeed, cheat. Repeat until caught. Then lie.

It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others.

Never buy a car you can’t push.

Never eat yellow snow.

Never put both feet in your mouth at the same time, because then you don’t have a leg to stand on.

Nobody cares if you can’t dance well. Just get up and dance.

The early worm gets eaten by the bird, so sleep late.

There are very few personal problems that cannot be solved through a suitable application of high explosives.

There are very few problems that cannot be solved by orders ending with ‘or die.’

When everything’s coming your way, you’re in the wrong lane.

Silence can be misquoted

And my all time favorite....

When you can no longer change the situation you are in....REMOVE yourself from that situation!!!!


Judy said...

Great stuff! I've been the statue a few times . . . :)

Lisa said...

I love the one about the suitable application of high explosives.

I made a comment to my ex one time about not squatting with your spurs on - he had no idea what I was talking about. Come to find out he could keep his feet flat when he squatted! And my daughter can, too! WEIRD

JoJo said...

Those quotes are awesome. And I'm feeling like that statue lately. lol

Anonymous said...

This post was like food to a starving woman. I needed a good laugh. Oh god, I don't want my sole purpose to be to serve as a warning to others. I know a few of those.